No one gets hurt if they don’t act funny – part 2 – Warning to the sensitive – reference to faecal matter

Dog Poo!

It can be big, but it isn’t clever and people who don’t clear up after their dogs are lazy, inconsiderate, selfish and life-endangering sleazeballs – so there.

I have my humans trained – they wouldn’t dream of taking me off the premises without scented biodegradable nappy sacks (more durable than poo bags and actually cheaper – what kind of message does this send out?) to safely package up my eliminations.  In addition they also carry kitchen roll and hand sanitiser for when things get REALLY messy.  Should they underestimate the number of bags needed (this only happens on local walkies because I have a rucksack containing EVERYTHING I could possibly need including a whole kitchen roll and a packet of nappy sacks) they bring me home and go back alone with a new supply of bags to finish the clean up operation.  It may not be the most pleasant task in the world but it only takes a few moments and once inside a waterproof (and scented) sack,  the problem is solved together with the treading-in- it issues and the risk of toxicara.

So why is it that the dog walkers who pass by our house are leaving piles of poo behind them?  Not big solid macho poos (like mine – smirk) but measly little runny poos reminiscent of what chickens and geese leave behind.

We know who you are.

Neighbour with a cairn terrier and a shitzu.  Old age is not a defence.  We have seen you – the temptation to deposit a big fat jobby outside your gate has so far been resisted – so far.

Tiny woman with a pushchair and a skinny whippet.  If you can make the time to put on your face and dress your whippet in a designer pink and black overcoat, then you can pick up your dog’s poo too!

My Mum says the poo depositors have probably been doing it outside our garden wall for years but we rarely walked round that way and as new dog owners my humans are now highly sensitised to such doggy matters. (She would also like me to point out that she doesn’t do dog walking without her face on, got dressed and brushed her hair – this is why we do hide and seek games in the back yard first thing – no one can see the state of her -frightening bedhair,  flannel nightshirt and wellies – oh my!).

Yesterday my Dad took me out for a run after his nightshift.  It was wheelie  bin day so he took the bin out at the same time and left it outside the gate and to one side of a pile of poo deposited by a sneaky late night rambler the night before. When we returned home. panting and slightly exhilarated some ten minutes later, we found that some moron had deliberately moved the bin – right into the pile of poo.  The bin wasn’t blocking the pavement so why move it?  (It wasn’t the bin men – they don’t come till after lunch).  The bin was full and quite heavy – so it wasn’t a child.  The mystery of poopgate continues.

Ah well, I’ve ranted now.  I’ve been out to play games with my Mum, had breakfast and am having a lie down so that I don’t get bloat.  My Boy is going to take me out for a walk when my breakfast has gone down and my Mum says we’ll go out for another adventure this afternoon when my Dad wakes up from his nightshift.

So, you irresponsible dog walkers – get on and clean up after your beloved beast – not only is your negligence dangerous, it is also against the law and I bet you wouldn’t like it if someone did it on YOUR doorstep.

Oooh, I can hear the thunder of size 12 feet.  Walkies!