“Take off your shoes and pat your feet, we’re doin’ a dance that can’t be beat, we’re barefootin'”

Way-hay!  The other half has gone on a flight to Madrid (and back again) today leaving me, the PAM and the sleeping teen in the warm – after yesterday we deserve to rest but the PAM has been horribly active this morning in an effort to avoid writing her sociology essay – only 7 days to go PAM!

So far we are on our second lot of washing, the old flowers have been thrown out and fresh freesias (go Tesco) have replaced them.  We also have a bucket of blue hyacinths ready to bloom for the old Crimbo celebrations.  A box of bits has been gone through and stuff that has been dumped in the big teen’s bedroom whilst he is away has been moved to a pile in another room  – it’s true – this place IS known as Haemorrhoid House (because of all the piles – doh!)

There is washing up still to do – oh and lunch – my idea of day spent curled up on my cushion under her ironing board cum desk whilst she battled with the differences between social harm and criminalisation has effectively disappeared.  Her to-do list keeps getting longer and longer.

Still – a quieter day than yesterday.

My lips are sealed about the morning (yeah – I know – toes don’t have lips – but this is all fiction anyway so who cares?)

Lovely to see our Breath of Fresh Air though and catch up over hot chocolate afterwards. It took me some while to recover from the changes in temperature – no matter how much the PAM wraps me up there is always a cold draft that cuts through and stings like billy-oh.

Home for lunch and a trip to the good old garden centre where a time-limited shopping was remarkably successful – unless you are a cold, stinging toe that wants to be home in the warm.  Christmas  – Bah Humbug!

But the worst was yet to come…..

……The POD!

This was the fourth pod we’ve seen in 6 weeks (I don’t count the student pod – who was very sweet but was remarkably cack-handed when she tried to dress me). This appointment was to check my other nine toe-mates and the feet they are attached to.

So – the good news is – the PAM still has beautiful pulses in her feet (of course) and no sign of any sensory damage anywhere else – just moi. We passed the tuning fork test and ‘shut-your-eyes-whilst-I-poke-your-feet-with-a-ball-point-pen’ test.  Hoorah!

Then it was my turn to have the starring role – gulp – he got out a scalpel!

He poked and it hurt.  He prodded and it hurt; he stuck his scalpel into places where no one has ventured before without the PAM having to be scraped off the ceiling – the other half let her squeeze his hand – hard.

Contrary to the last pod’s opinion – this one reckons my toe will have a nail – eventually – and that there are signs of regrowth – but it could take up to 12 months and (I love this bit) it may come out warped (tee-hee just like me!).

So – overall – the feet are okay but I have to go back again between Christmas and Lanzarote time for another appointment.  We have purchased tons of dressings, bandages and sticky stuff because the pod says I have to be kept covered at all times – EVEN in the swimming pool – but at least I can go paddling.

None of the pods we’ve seen seem to agree with each other but perhaps that is because my prognosis is so uncertain – it looks as if I shall be hanging around with my nine mates for some while to come yet – but no barefootin’.

Come on PAM!  – eat some lunch – wash up and get on with that flipping essay!

The sun will come out Toe-morrow, things will be brighter then …..

Morning all!

TOO exhausted to post yesterday – hell of a day.

Early appointment at the podiatrist – third one we’ve seen now – why can’t they be more gentle with me? I feel violated.

Despite feeling bleary-eyed and dopey, the PAM, the other half and I got to our appointment in time.  Freed from the customised boot of choice; I was disrobed and examined minutely for signs of anything nasty.

I appear to be infection free. I don’t appear to have osteoarthritis – the nasty aches and pains are due to residual bruising and will probably continue for some months yet – lovely.

The bit that cut me to the core is that there is also no sign of a toenail.  It has been two months since that crate dropped on me and it seems that in addition to severing my toenail and causing a HUGE bruise all over me, it killed my toenail completely.  There has been no new growth over the past two months so it is unlikely to happen now.

So the PAM and I have months of not being able to  wear appropriate footwear whilst the nailbed gets tough and uncompromising – and there is always a further risk of infection in the meantime.

Thank you crate – you great ugly lethal lump of moulded plastic just waiting to cause damage to unwary workers.  I hope someone smashes you and you end your days as a recycled dog poo bin  – or worse.

Moving on – because we have to – having been swabbed and redressed in a totally over the top bandage, we embark edon a short shopping trip to stock up on food. Whilst the other half is on late shifts, we are somewhat housebound all afternoon and evening – which is nice – well for me but not necessarily for the PAM.  She should be studying for her next essay, revising for the exam from hell and reading up on important paperwork but gets a little stir crazy when the walls start closing in.

She is far too easily seduced however, by FB and silly games, Twitter and comments that range from serious to satire to plain silly.  Her Kindle is also a bad influence;  it is no use her telling people that she has reference books on it, she also has Coin Hover and Mahjong – hah! Blown!

She did actually do some studying yesterday – and there was a rather blissful bout of dozing during the morning to make up for the early start.  There was far too much procrastination however.

To be fair – she did take off the hideously unflattering dressing that the pod had applied, put me into a chic little indoor number and for the benefit of our lovely EEEEE, gave me a snowman face and took a picture for FB.

Another high point was that the pod also said that I will be able to enjoy the sun and heated swimming pool waiting for us in Lanzarote.  I may need to wear a slinky little dressing to prevent any nasties creeping into my crevices and take some antibiotics with us – just in case.  So me and the other nine toes will be able to wiggle in the sand a little and forget about bureaucratic bungling and and the autocratic arses that inflict it on us – controversial – better back off before the PAM notices.

It has been alleged that I am a bad influence on the PAM.  This may be so but  – nothing has been proved.

Time to wake up the other half for another shopping trip.  We are cooking pasta tonight and have to get all the bits. Mozzarella balls and grated Grana Padano anyone?


Oh and EEEEE – don’t ever stop bothering xxxxx