Equal Rights for Toes!

Okay – so this is my first blog – it doesn’t look that difficult and the person attached to me (to be known as PAM from now on) is so knackered she has no idea that I have taken over temporarily.

This has been a horrible day from a toe point of view.

The shower this morning was fine; then she had to ruin it all by sticking me in a plastic container full of salty water to wash off the nice smelling shower gel (Snowfairy from Lush if you must know).  I don’t care what the podiatrist says – salt water STINGS!

She was quite gentle drying me and as a consequence I held still whilst she took ANOTHER photograph of me with her Blackberry. I am SO photogenic.

Then comes the bit I hate the most – the dressing.

It is SO boring!  We have two sorts of dressing – white indoors and white outdoors.  Boring.  Boring.  Boring.  Her other half used to put smiley faces on me but there hasn’t been much to smile about lately.

I know she’s bought these willie warmers for me – but where are they? Christmas post bah!

The other day I rebelled against the dressing and caused an allergic reaction to the adhesive  – I made a HUGE blister on my back.  She used her ingenuity with some non-allergic tape though and the blister disappeared.  I had another trick to play on her today though; I’ve been sending aches down to the place where I join the foot – that’ll teach her to drop things on me.

I wanted to stay in the warm today; propped up on my cushion with the occasional hobble to the loo or the kitchen and the possibility of a proper lie-down on the bed after lunch – some chance.

As soon as she started putting the finger bandage over the top of the indoor dressing this morning I knew we were in for some – exercise.

I don’t mind going out in the car. PAM doesn’t drive and her other half always puts the heater on so I am nice and warm on the journey (she has the heated seat on but  that never reaches me). We usually have to get out of the car at some point though and that’s the bit I hate.

We parked up in the wet and draughty multi-storey car park.  I got slightly damp on the way to the lifts and the stinging began.

We walked to a shop full of glasses and up some stairs – loads of stairs – I hate stairs.  Then a woman puffed air in PAM’s eyes and she sat down to wait.  Then a man put drops in her eyes and she sat back down again and waited some more.  Back to the eye puffing stuff then into another room where the man looked in her eyes with a bright light and accidentally bumped into me.  HEY!  I am the prominent white toe sticking out of this black suede boot!  Use your eyes you optician man you!  He apologised to her and sent her back downstairs so that another woman could take pictures of her eyes.  What about me then?  Does anyone give a damn about all this getting up and down I’m having to do?

They brought me home again then – after a trudge through the shopping mall (horrible hard floor), back into the lifts and across the wet car park.  The bliss of the car heater but the sudden change from cold and wet to warm makes the stinging even worse.

She went for a lie down when we got in.  I was looking forward to a nice rest but she attached this electrical gadget onto her foot.  She dozed off whilst this thing sent electrical pulses through me, kept me awake and made me feel quite numb. We’ll have to put a stop to that then.

So I have rebelled. I have taken over her blog. From now on it will be the world according to Vee-Toe.  Look on my works ye mighty and despair. 🙂

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