It was hunger and desperation that prevented Gavin and Ben’s paths crossing that evening. Gavin had indeed left the office early, and spent the afternoon driving around the quiet estate where Sally and her family lived. He took pictures of the house with his mobile; when he saw a woman coming out of Sally’s house, his heart began to beat faster and for a moment he considered getting out of the car, then he realised that she had the dog with her and decided to stay put. He took further pictures of her with the dog, and then some close ups so that he could look at them again tonight when he was alone. She aroused strange feelings in him. He wasn’t really sure if he hated her or was infatuated with her. Her outburst at the hearing had excited him, had made him feel that he wanted to take and subdue her, to tame those blazing eyes and that lashing tongue. He’d even found it quite a turn on when she kicked the wall outside the meeting room.

He could have got a bit heavy with her then, threatened to have her arrested for damaging council property but she didn’t actually break anything, and besides, Ruby had rushed her out of the building before he had the chance.

Ruby.

Ruby and Ben.

Now that was a turn up for the books. He had been quite surprised when Ben mentioned that he was in a relationship with Ruby, and were there any issues about this? Apart from Ruby being a close friend of Sally’s, Gavin had nothing against her – in fact he quite fancied Ruby himself. She had the same fiery temperament that he liked in Sally, and as far as he could see, she was extremely hard-working, did her job well and didn’t take advantage by spending most of her time on the Internet, unlike so many of their colleagues.

Was there an issue about Ruby and Ben though? He was going to be asking Ben to do some pretty unorthodox things if he was going to get him looking for dirt on Sally. Could Ben be trusted not to tell Ruby things that would get passed back to Sally? Perhaps it was time now to tell Ruby that her continuing to support Sally could constitute a conflict of interests with the council – and with Ben if he told her about his investigation.

Pillow talk; the thought of Ruby and Ben together in bed did things to him as well. Gavin made an effort to pull himself together; he hadn’t had this much trouble controlling his urges when he worked for other local authorities, although there had been a few unfortunate moments when he misread the signals being given off by female colleagues and had to harass them into believing they were the ones that misread his signals.

He was very lucky to have inherited Joanna. Her amiable dimness was a complete cold shower as far as he was concerned. Her total devotion to him was cloying at times, but he knew that he was safe with her, that she could be relied upon not to talk about his ‘special’ projects, and to act dumb when necessary.

His stomach rumbled; he would have to move off soon and get some food. he had told his mother that he was working until six, which meant that if he ate now, by the time he had driven home at six, he would have a little appetite left to eat whatever she had incinerated this evening. One last thing before he moved on though. He rang Sally’s number, just to check that it really was her that was out with the dog. the gruff voice of a teenaged boy answered. Gavin ascertained that Sally was indeed out with the dog, and refrained from answering the questions regarding who he was and what he wanted. He saw Sally return to the house; the dog looked agitated, and Sally was pale. Both of them kept looking around so he slid down in his car seat, sure that they couldn’t see him.

Once he was certain that they were in the house, Gavin started up the car and drove off; it was still only four o’clock so he had plenty of time to find somewhere to eat, somewhere he could stuff his face with as much junk food as he liked, and his mother would never know. There was a new retail area opened up a couple of miles from Sally’s house where, in addition to an ice rink and cinema, there were several restaurants and a hotel. Gavin decided it was far enough from Sally’s house and from his own for it to be safe from discovery, but close enough to ease his aching stomach, which had remained empty since he had thrown his unappetising sandwiches in the bin this morning.

His mother had decided to give him something else for a change; the sight of tongue and piccalilli on white bread with margarine made him heave. She knew he hated tongue. It probably meant that she had discovered some evidence of his late-night excesses. Perhaps the neighbour had complained about him dumping rubbish in her bin? He didn’t think that anyone had seen him but she was a wily old bird and often dropped in for coffee with his parents whilst he was out at work.

This realisation made him even more determined to eat contraband food, and as he arrived at the retail park the first restaurant that hove into sight was an ‘Eat all you can for £6.99’ Chinese. He had been eavesdropping with his door open this morning and heard Karen, Cheryl and Fiona talking about their trip to the Chinese restaurant and how it had been ruined by Ruby, Ben and the two guys from IT. Ben was out of the room at a meeting, and the three witches didn’t seem to care too much if anyone else heard what they said.

Gavin now knew for definite that Karen felt Ben had broken her heart by going off with Ruby. The fact that Ben had told him that he and Ruby had known each other for years rather gave the lie to Karen’s theory that Ruby had ‘stolen’ Ben away from her. For once Cheryl had actually tried to be reasonable, and explain that Ruby and Ben had been in a relationship since he returned from University, but hadn’t wanted to tell anyone until he had spoken to Gavin. Fiona and Cheryl were of the opinion that if Gavin said it was alright, then it must be a proper relationship with no room for Karen to intervene. Karen had wept a bit more, gone to the toilets, re-plastered her face and decided to open up the match-making site again.

That thin, cynical smile spread across Gavin’s face when he heard this. Karen was definitely on the way out then. Her IT records were not going to look good when Ben examined them. No matter. He had no room for disloyalty and it appeared that Cheryl and Fiona were more knowledgeable about which side their bread was buttered.

Gavin parked his car over to one side of the restaurant and checked his watch again. Still plenty of time to gorge himself on crispy aromatic duck, special fried rice and chicken with cashew nuts. His mouth watered at the very thought.

The restaurant was half full, and Gavin was pleased to see that the staff were busy refilling the heated cabinets as soon as they were emptied. He ordered an endless Diet Coke and made his way over to the food. Not surprisingly he had an order to what he ate in these serve-yourself restaurants. He never took too much, or wasted time on food that he only liked a little. As a consequence, his first three trips were exclusively duck, pancakes, hoi sin sauce and the shreds of spring onion and cucumber that offset the fattiness of the duck.

Gavin’s plate was polished clean, but he left it on the table and went in search of a fresh one for his next course. It made him laugh to see other diners with their plates piled high with food that they would never eat because they had taken too much. Such a terrible waste. He allowed himself three more trips for his main course, filled up his drink again and then settled to a dessert of banana fritter with golden syrup and ice cream. He looked at his watch as he settled up the bill. A quarter past five and plenty of time to drive back into town and drive out again at six as if he were leaving work at the normal time.

He contemplated driving back via Sally’s house to see if he could glean anything else, but decided against it in case he got caught up in traffic. The drive back to town was slow enough but he made it back to the office car park by five past six, and phoned his mother on the mobile to say he was leaving and would be home soon. She sounded colder and more formal than she usually did, but Gavin was so used to her changes of mood that he paid no mind to it, put his phone on the hands-free cradle and drove out of the car park again. On the way he ducked down a little to avoid being seen by Karen, straggling after her two friends across the car park and obviously headed for the pub. She was going to be disappointed if she thought Ben was going to be there; Gavin habitually checked the car park for signs of his staff and there was no sign of Ben’s car this evening.  Perhaps he was already round at Ruby’s flat, perhaps they were enjoying a glass of wine after work, perhaps they were enjoying each other?

Trying very hard not to think about Ben and Ruby, or Sally for that matter, Gavin backed his car into the driveway, turned the engine off, picked up his phone and briefcase, and locked the car. He walked round to the kitchen door, as was his habit and was confused to find that it was locked, so he walked back to the front door and found that locked too. He scrabbled in his pockets for his house keys but was unable to get the door open with them so in the end he rang the bell.

It took a while for his mother to answer the door. It would normally take her a while anyway, struggling to get to her feet, manoeuvring the elbow crutches into place, limping slowly along the hallway, and trying to open the catch with her arthritic hands. Gavin had seen her play this game before. Something was up.

“Oh, you’re home then.” his mother said as she opened the door slowly.

“Yes Mother. I phoned you half an hour ago to say I was leaving work.”

Gavin slowly pushed the door open enough to squeeze in. His mother remained where she was, half-blocking the hallway.

“Why is the back door locked?”

“Burglars. Mary next door says there has been a spate of burglaries round here recently. She says we have to be careful. She went to a neighbourhood watch meeting on Monday, and there was a very nice police woman who gave her a set of bells to put on her purse and lots of leaflets about how to keep your home secure. She’s going to get me some, but she said in the meantime that I should keep all the doors locked and put the snip down on the front door. So, I did.”

Gavin sighed and put his briefcase in its customary place on the hall stand.

“There’s no point putting the snip down if you’re expecting me home at any moment, Mother. By all means put it down now if you want to. I’m home now.”

“Oh?” she said. “Not thinking of going out again then. To a Chinese restaurant or something?”

The bomb dropped. He had obviously been seen this evening by one of her cronies. He had been so careful too; there had been no familiar cars in the car park, the retail park was on the other side of town from where he lived, he had surreptitiously checked the restaurant through the plate glass window before he even entered. No sign of anyone he knew but someone had snitched on him.

Snitched, such a childish word to use but that’s what it was. He was a grown man with an extremely responsible job. He had bought this house and moved his parents from their family home so that he could look after them in their old age, and dotage as far as his father was concerned. The furniture was theirs but the house represented all that he had worked for. The state-of-the-art kitchen that he wasn’t even allowed to cook in officially.

Gavin stood his ground.

“What’s the problem Mother?”

She pouted. “Problem? Why should there be a problem? That fact that I phoned the office and some chit of a girl called Karen said you were out for the afternoon, and no one knew where you were. That’s a problem. Suppose your father got taken ill or I had a fall? Then I get a call from Mary to say that I shouldn’t be bothered making dinner for you tonight because her granddaughter has just started work as a waitress over at the new retail park, and saw you eating dinner there about four-thirty – when you were supposed to be at work. At whilst I’m at it, Mary says she would be grateful if you would stop putting your rubbish in her bin. So, what have you got to say for yourself Gavin?”

“Nothing Mother.” His shoulders drooped. “Nothing at all. I’m going to my room.”

“Oh no you don’t!” she cried, barring his way with one of her crutches. “There’s a perfectly good dinner in that kitchen and you are going to eat it. I don’t care how full up with Chinese rubbish you are.”

“But…you said you hadn’t cooked anything for me?” said Gavin, looking very puzzled.

“I never did! I said that Mary told me not to bother, but what kind of mother would I be if I didn’t cook my only son a dinner every night, even if he is so ungrateful as to go and eat foreign muck and lie to me about whether he was at work or not.”

Gavin sighed; defeat written all over his face but determined to salvage some pride somewhere.

“I was out at a meeting this afternoon. Had you spoken to my secretary Joann, she would have told you where I was but she must have been away from her desk when you called. As a consequence, Karen took the call and gave you incorrect information. I will be having words with her in the morning.  My meeting finished early. I didn’t have time for lunch so my sandwiches were back in the office. One of the people at the meeting recommended the new Chinese, so I had a late lunch there. A late lunch, not an early dinner. I went back to the office, finished off a few things, called you and came home. If you have a dinner prepared for me, I will eat it gladly. As far as putting my rubbish in someone else’s bin, I saw some rubbish bags on the floor outside Mary’s house when I was putting our rubbish out. Our bin was full so I put the rubbish in hers. You know how I feel about people leaving rubbish in the street Mother.”

She looked at him with some suspicion still, but put her elbow crutch back down on the floor and allowed him to walk past her and into the kitchen. His dinner of overcooked braising steak, jellified gravy, lumpy mashed potato and grey tinned garden peas was waiting to be warmed up the microwave. He sighed, put it in and set the timer for two minutes, using the time to lay the table and wash his hands.

He had to work hard to force the food down; chewing on the gristle-filled steak and almost choking on the lumpy mash and rock-hard peas. He ate in silence and when he was finished his mother took the plate away and replaced it with a shallow bowl of tinned peaches and evaporated milk. Not his favourite dessert by any means, and his mind went back to the crisp little banana fritters covered in syrup, and vanilla ice cream.

The crockery and cutlery were placed carefully in the small dishwasher and his mother returned to the front room without another word. She probably didn’t believe him; she had gone through a lifetime of him lying to her, and he had gone through the same lifetime of telling her lies in order to appease her.

Summarily dismissed now, Gavin went out to the hallway, picked up his phone and briefcase and climbed the stairs to his room. Once inside he locked the door and sat for a moment with is head in his hands. Then he remembered the photos he had taken earlier, of Sally and her dog. He plugged his mobile into the mainframe computer, and downloaded the pictures so that he could look at them more closely; so that he could blow them up and examine every inch of her face and memorise it. Once loaded Gavin put the pictures into a software programme, and amused himself by putting pictures of himself and Sally together, superimposing their heads onto the bodies of loving couples. Well, they started off as just being loving couples but soon Gavin was using more graphic pictures and becoming more and more aroused by what he was creating.

A sharp rap on the door made him jump, but it was only his mother confirming that she and his father were going to bed and that it was time for Gavin to go downstairs, check all the doors and windows, make sure everything was turned off and be the dutiful son that she expected him to be. He saved his work into a hidden file before unlocking the door and going down to carry out his duties.

Walking Perro was both a duty and a joy.  A joy because he was so happy to be free of his long rescue centre kennel imprisonment, and even free of the confines of Sally’s house, but a duty because though Sally loved him, she was always a bit frightened when she took him out on her own. He was a big strong dog and there were so many things that made him anxious, that she never felt totally relaxed unless someone else was with her. This was usually Ed, sometimes one of her sons, and occasionally Ruby. Sally was on her own this time, and had a feeling of unease as she walked along the streets near her home.

Perro appeared especially nervous today, and Sally decided to cut the walk short and go home. There was something nearby that spelled danger to them both. Perro’s hackles were up as they walked briskly back to the house, and he looked anxiously from side to side, showing the whites of his eyes. Sally opened the gate to the courtyard, closed it behind her and let Perro off his lead. He ran around the yard several times, sniffing the fences, and the gate that led to the front door.

Her younger son slid open the patio door to let them in.

“Some bloke just rang for you. Sounded a bit of an idiot. Wouldn’t leave his name or a message. Told him to do one if he was trying to sell us something, and he hung up.”

“Did you get his number?”

“Yeah, it was a mobile. I wrote it down for you. You aren’t going to call back, are you? He sounds creepy. Probably one of those ‘I’m phoning about the accident that you didn’t have.”

“Let me see the number?” Sally took the piece of paper, the number looked familiar and from the description of the voice, she had a feeling that that she knew who it was.

“Gavin Slime.”

“What, that bloke who followed you on Twitter?”

“The very same. Why would he be phoning me now, when he knows that everything has to be done through solicitors? Did he say anything else?”

“He asked where you were.  I said you were out with the dog.”

Sally felt a cold shiver down her back. Was Perro on edge because someone really was watching them? Was Gavin Slime watching her? She picked up the old mobile she had arranged to use with Ben and Ruby, and texted Ben.

Is Gavin in the office this afternoon?

Ben phoned her back very quickly.

“No. He left after lunch and hasn’t put anything in his electronic diary. Are you okay?”

“I was out with the dog and we both felt spooked. Got back to find that ‘a bloke’ had phoned. The number was Gavin’s. I think he’s nearby and was watching me. Slime by name and slime by nature. I’m not alone though and if he tries to call at the house, I’ll get Perro to scare him off. Take care Ben.”

The next text was to Ed; not a panicking text, just one to warn him to look out for any unknown cars parked nearby. Perro had settled now that he was back indoors, and Sally curled up next to him on the sofa, feeling reassured by his doggy warmth and the gentle groaning noise he made when he felt safe. She fell asleep with her head on Perro’s side, lulled by his subsequent snores, and an inane quiz show on the TV.

There was rather a rude awakening when Ed arrived back from work and Perro leaped from the sofa with a burst of joyful barking. Sally sat upright and wondered where she was for a moment. Perro was running up and down the room in excitement; she pulled her feet up onto the sofa to prevent being trampled by him.

Ed came in, dropped a kiss on top of her head and allowed himself to be welcomed by the overwhelming hound who was in a very licky mood. Perro calmed down again, and settled back on the sofa. Sally’s husband went into the bathroom to wash the slobber off, then came back and perched on the arm of the sofa.

“Did you see anything?” Sally asked, leaning against him.

“No strange cars or even stranger men. I thought he wasn’t supposed to contact you?”

“He isn’t. All contact through solicitors. I think he’s doing it to try and intimidate me rather than actually speak to me. The stupid thing is, he’s using a mobile and hasn’t withheld the number. Not exactly the actions of a stalker.”

Ed agreed and, after giving her a hug, went into the kitchen to get them both a drink. He moved the dog up slightly and sat down beside her.

“Is it time to call in a few favours from the boys in blue?”

Sipping her drink, Sally looked up in horror. “Lord no! Steve’s gone to work at headquarters, and I’ve been on suspension so long that anyone else I had contact with has retired, been promoted or sacked. Besides, Slime hasn’t actually broken the law. I don’t know for certain that he was outside. I just had a feeling I was being watched and so did Perro. I should have asked Ben what kind of a car Slime drives.”

“Here’s your chance. He’s walking up the drive.”

“Ben! Really! How lovely! Do I look as if I’ve been crying?”

“You look fine. Go and put some lippy on and you’ll feel more like yourself. I’ll let Ben in and calm the dog down.”

Sally ran up the stairs brushed her hair and put on some lipstick. She smiled to herself, reassured that she looked more human now, and less like the walking dead. She ran back downstairs and greeted Ben with a warm hug.

“Well, you look okay,” he said “but your text worried me a bit. Do you really think Gavin is stalking you?”

She shrugged. “I just felt that I was being watched and Perro was so freaked that I brought him back early. What kind of a car does he drive?”

“Silver Insignia. A rep’s car. He’s got it through the lease scheme.”

“Not exactly easy to spot though. I suppose that’s why he chose it, so that he can blend in and snoop on people.”

Ben nodded. “He does a lot of that. He’s asked me to check out the others in the team. I have to run IT checks on everyone – including and especially Mandy. I think she’s destined for the chop. Judging by the way she runs her team I’m expecting her computer logs to be particularly damning.  Same with the three witches.  Peter will be okay, and I don’t think Gavin hasn’t marked him down yet.  More interesting is the fact that he’s asked me to get involved in an investigation of an ex-member of staff who is causing trouble for the council.”

“Not little old me?”

“Could be. Could be Donal as well. Rumour has it that Michael is still really hacked off about the embezzlement.”

“How unfair!” said Sally. “Donal’s paid back all the money he took. I haven’t heard from him recently.”

Ben looked puzzled. “I didn’t think you heard from him at all. You aren’t supposed to know where he is. Suppose the police find out; you could be an accomplice after the fact or something.”

“Oh, I still don’t know where Donal and his wife are. I have my suspicions because we spent a lot of time talking about places we’d like to go on holiday to, and places we definitely wouldn’t. I may not have been totally candid with the police about that, but I didn’t lie. As for being in touch, I get the occasional email that has been routed through different servers before it gets to me, so there’s absolutely no possibility of anyone finding out where it originated from. As far as I know Donal and his wife are well and happy. They have a much nicer lifestyle than they ever had here, and more than enough money to be able to pay back what Donal took. He never meant anyone any harm.  He was just unhappy working with a bunch of halfwits and having to cover up for their inadequacies.  In retrospect I wish I’d done the same!”

Ed led her to the sofa and sat her down.

“Sssh. Donal is fine. He has deliberately kept you in the dark in order to protect you – and us. Gavin Slime can go grubbing about as much as he likes, he won’t find anything incriminating because the police have already gone down that route. What worries me more is that if Gavin is hanging around here, he might see Ben and make the connection between you two.”

Her hand flew to her mouth in dismay. “Oh Ben, I never thought! We’ve been so careful about phones and things. Suppose he saw you arrive here tonight?”

“Forewarned is forearmed. I drove round the streets first to see if his car was here. Then I parked around the corner near the shops, and walked up the back way. I won’t visit again if he’s out of the office and I don’t know where he is though. I’d better warn Ruby about him. He knows that she’s your friend and visits here. He mentioned it yesterday.”

“No need to warn her.” said Ed, “She’s just turned up here as well.”

“Oh, well I texted her too, in case she knew where Slime was. I’ll hold the dog, can you let her in?”

Perro did his customary bark but was instantly calmed by Ruby, who he absolutely adored. Ben and Ruby seemed a little awkward with each other in Sally’s eyes, and though she was itching to know how they were getting on, she showed remarkable restraint in not asking questions – although she shot a few searching glances in Ruby’s direction.

“Has Ben told you about our meal last night?” said Ruby, with a mischievous grin. Ben blushed slightly and shook his head. She sat down next to Sally on the sofa and proceeded to tell her the whole tale from arriving at the pub to Ben dropping her back home afterward. Sally laughed and looked serious by turns; worrying particularly about the repercussions for Ben now that Karen was a woman scorned.

“Poor Karen.” said Sally. “Jilted on her honeymoon, and now Ben has knocked her back as well. There must be some man somewhere who would appreciate her boob job.”

“What boob job?” Ben asked.

“Nice try but no one who has seen Karen can be oblivious to her jutting frontage and permanently erect nipples.” said Ruby

“Oh yuk!” said Sally, who had worked with Karen in the past, and had known her when she had first come to work at the council, when she still had some nicer aspects to her character.

“She’s not really a bad person. None of them are, but Mandy was a very poor manager and let them run rings around her. The team as a whole is dysfunctional, and having Gavin at the helm doesn’t help matters. He’s so sneaky and secretive. Something very nasty in his woodshed I’ll be bound.”

“Do you really think so Sally?” Ben asked. “I must admit that I don’t feel too comfortable with him. He’s got Joanna very well trained too, although I think she’s developing something of a soft spot for me now.”

“Soft spot between her ears probably.” muttered Ruby, who had suffered Joanna’s presence in training sessions many times, and was not impressed regarding her level of intelligence. She also found, much to her consternation, that she didn’t like the idea of Joanna being nice to Ben.

“Do you not like her then?” asked Ben, a little puzzled by Ruby’s reaction. Sally raised her eyes heavenwards. Men could be so dim sometimes.

“Don’t be fooled by Joanna’s air of simplicity Ben,” said Sally, anxious to get Ben back on track. “Joanna operates on a fairly basic level most of the time, but she has an animal instinct for survival. I worked with her for nine months, during which time she had every male within a five-mile radius doing everything she asked them to do. If Gavin Slime has her under control, I’d be very surprised. Joanna does what Joanna wants to do, regardless. If she’s complying with him, then it’s because she knows that she’s liable to get something out of it. Just watch her and don’t be fooled by those fluttering baby blues Ben.”

Thoroughly chastened by Sally, Ben looked toward Ed for support.

“I think a decent cup of coffee is called for. Care to give me a hand Ben? Junior barista and all that?”

Ben followed him out to the kitchen, glad of a little respite.

“So, tell me? How did it really go last night?” Sally asked, grabbing Ruby’s hands.

“Sally! It was playacting for the rabble anyway.”

“All of it? Wasn’t there anything that wasn’t playacting?”

“Perhaps I’m reading too much into it. Perhaps he’s so afraid of Karen jumping on him again that he’ll do anything to prevent it.”

“Stay for dinner. I’ll persuade Ben too as well. We can get a takeaway – not Chinese or Mexican though – Indian maybe?”

Sally jumped to her feet and ran out to the kitchen. Ruby couldn’t hear exactly what was said but it sounded like Sally’s suggestion regarding dinner had been greeted with enthusiasm. They came back in carrying a tray loaded with cups, a large cafetiere, milk, biscuits and a variety of takeaway menus.

Ben sat at the table next to Sally rather than on the sofa next to Ruby, and she took this as a sign to play it cool, very cool.   On his part, Ben decided to tell them both about Melissa’s card, and the way it had cost him another night without sleep.

Message received. Ruby took the hint and kept the conversation light, bright and with no more reference to the previous evening’s ‘date’. She could tell from the way he spoke about Melissa how much he missed her, and that the card coming out the blue had given him a ray hope to cling on to.  After all, five years was a long time to spend with someone.  Ruby gave herself a good internal talking to about keeping it professional, and making sure that any displays of affection were limited to the pub after work in future.

Ruby’s day was going to be a busy one. She was training a group of very young clerical assistants who needed to understand data protection, confidentiality and the implications of the European Convention on Human Rights. This was the second session she had done with them, and although she found some of them a little trying due to their attitude issues, the majority of the group were interested and ready to engage in the training fully.

There were a couple of young girls whose lives were inextricably linked to their mobile phones, and whilst they managed to adhere to the rule of no mobiles on during the actual training, every time there was a break, the air was rent by the sound of them turning the sound back on their mobiles again, and squealing at the texts and photos sent by their friends. There was also a lad who sat at the back of the room; his glowering countenance testament to the fact that he found the whole thing a bore and a total waste of his time. Ruby was determined that by the end of the day she would have the three of them up and involved in some way – even if it killed her – and it probably would!

At the back of her mind was Ben.  To be honest he was at the front and both sides as well. The logical, analytical part of Ruby’s personality was going over and over the information that she had gleaned from him the night before. Focus, Ruby focus!

By lunchtime the group had covered pretty much all of the material there was, so Ruby asked them to return for one o’clock, and told the two girls that she had a special task for them both in the afternoon. They appeared quite excited at the prospect and went off giggling to ravage the buffet table out in the corridor.

The solitary lad, who had now been identified as Martin, remained in a corner of the room chewing slowly on a couple of sandwiches and looking morose. According to Ruby’s file, he worked in highways, and was something of a self-taught expert on the traffic light system. Looking at him more closely, Ruby had a feeling that he might have some kind of high functioning autism. She sat down next to him, and was gratified when her opening question about the sequencing of traffic lights opened the flood gates of his knowledge. He slowed down and became more articulate as Ruby responded positively to the information that he was giving her.

“Martin, would you be able to do five minutes on traffic lights to the rest of the group this afternoon? You are so aware of what kind of systems information is in the public domain, and what is limited to our own systems, and therefore confidential. I think it might help the others to understand the distinction.”

His face brightened. “Can I use some flip chart paper and pens?”

“Yes, I’ll get you some but five minutes only or we’ll be running late and I’ll be in

trouble. You can use the little room next door if you want some privacy. There’s a table in there that you can use to lay out the flip chart paper.”

Gobbling down the last of his sandwich, Martin tore off a few sheets of paper from the chart, grabbed an assortment of pens and almost ran into the office next door. Surprised by the immediacy of her solution, Ruby turned her own phone on, and was surprised to find a text from Ben.

Lunch date with Karen cancelled due to urgent meeting with Gavin. Karen not happy. Gavin has given us his permission. Said you would talk to your boss too.  Still up for a drink in pub later?

Ruby smiled, imagining Karen’s rage and her inability to take it out on anyone because it was Gavin that had interfered with her well-laid plans. She picked up her phone to text an answer. Training going well. Have overcome a few issues that might have meant a late finish. See you in the pub just after five? Ruby.

She debated whether to add a kiss in case anyone was watching over Ben’s shoulder but decided that he wasn’t the kind of person who let other people watch whilst he was texting, and that Ben might misinterpret the reason for adding it. Her students filtered back into the classroom; Martin with his brightly coloured flip charts, and the two giggling girls. Ruby took the girls to one side and asked gave them both pieces of paper with a list of terms on it.

“This is a competition between you two. It’s important that you don’t talk to each other and that you sit on opposite sides of the room. I want you to search for these terms using your mobiles, find definitions for them, tell me how long it took you to find the answers and then we’ll compare the results. Are you up for it?”

“Yay! “They squealed in unison, and the race between the two of them began.

Ruby gave Martin his five minutes and his presentation was all that she had hoped it would be. He explained the differences between the two systems, and why it was important that confidentiality was observed regarding the sequencing and placement of movement sensors. The other students appreciated his enthusiasm, and the pie charts drawn up in red, amber and green. They gave him a rousing round of applause when he finished, on time as well, and Ruby was gratified to see him sitting, with a very broad grin on his face, towards the front of the room and next to some other students.

The mobile phone task had similarly pleasing results. A very narrow victory was had by the older of the two girls, but there was only half a minute between them. They read out the definitions which were then discussed by the rest of the group, and decisions made regarding which were the most applicable to the training. The afternoon ended in laughter, and gratitude that the session could be wound up early because of the amount of work that had been accomplished. Ruby stamped everyone’s training passport, and was relieved to find that not only had all the feedback forms been completed but that all of them were complimentary toward her, especially Martin’s.

She gathered up the forms and dropped them off at her office. Kathy was there, looking a little weary from another battle over resources, so she was equally pleased that the training had gone so well. Ruby put away all the training materials and went back to sit at her desk. It was a quarter to five.

“Kathy? Do you mind if I go now please? It’s just that I’m meeting someone for a drink and I need to get into town.”

“Oh?” said Kathy, looking a little brighter. “A drink eh? Anyone I know?”

“Well, he’s an old friend actually. More than a friend really. We knew each other years ago and we met up recently, and well, this is our first date and …”

“Heavens, woman! What are you still doing here?  Do I know this hunk?”

 “You might have met him. He’s just started working in HR. His name’s Ben.”

“Oh wow! Yes, I met him at a department meeting yesterday.  Slim, dark curly hair, big brown eyes, very artistic hands. Ruby! You are blushing!  He’s cute.  I have a feeling Karen has her eye on him too though. She was all over him like a rash yesterday.”

“I know, he told me last night. We thought if we go public, maybe Karen would back off?  Ben has spoken to Gavin – because of my role as Sally’s supporter.  Gavin says that I need to check with you, and to ensure that we both observe a high level of confidentiality with regard to work.  I know that there is a policy of staff not being in personal relationships but…”

“…but Margaret can’t object considering that she’s married to another member of staff.  Off you go now. I can see from these feedback sheets that you’ve done really well today. These kids are a hard bunch to crack, but you seem to have got through to them. Well done.”

It was with a light heart that Ruby walked across the car park, got into her car and drove to the pub. She looked through the window before opening the heavy door and entering. Ben looked up as the door opened, and she felt warmed by the smile on his face. Her head told her that he was playing a part, but she felt that he really was pleased to see her too. He got to his feet as she approached, and it seemed the most natural thing in the world to hug him and kiss him on the cheek.

He returned the embrace with a sudden warmth that made her feel like giggling.

“Diet Coke or do you want something stronger?” he asked confidently.

“Something stronger. Dry Martini and lemonade ….”

“With ice and a slice. I know.”

 Ruby sat down on the banquette, next to a mildly astonished Peter, and Mark who was celebrating his escape from the post room.

“You and Ben?” said Peter.  “I didn’t know …. Not that I should but …. Have you known each other long then?” he asked and looked more than a little embarrassed.

“Oh, we’ve known each other for years, but only started seeing each other a couple of weeks ago. We bumped into each other at Simon’s gym, arranged to go for a drink, but decided to keep things quiet until Ben and I had discussed it with Gavin and Kathy.  Strangely enough, we have blessings from both of them!”

Ruby smiled and moved up a bit so that Ben could sit on the other side of her when he returned with her drink. He draped his arm casually around her shoulder and she leaned against him. It felt very comfortable.

Conversation between Ben, Mark, Ruby and Peter centred around the day’s training, and data protection in general. Ben asked intelligent questions and Ruby answered them with honesty and enthusiasm. Peter, now over his initial shock, and Mark feeling happy now that he was back in friendly company, joined in the discussion and the four of them must have looked very comfortable when Karen, Cheryl and Fiona pushed their way through the door. There was an awkward moment as the three of them spotted Ben’s arm around Ruby’s shoulders, and   Ruby, never one to miss an opportunity, turned her head to kiss him very gently on the neck. He shivered and pulled her just a little bit closer.

Karen was about to turn around and flounce out, but Cheryl dragged her to a table by the door whilst Fiona got the drinks in. Peter and Mark both looked rather nervous, torn between supporting Ben and Ruby, and the prospect of receiving evil looks from the three witches.  They made their apologies and left, waving at both parties in a rather feeble way.

Ben whispered in Ruby’s ear. “Do you think we’re convincing?”

 “I’m convinced. I don’t know about Karen. How long do we have to stay here?”

Ben frowned. “I didn’t think to ask before. Do you have any plans for tonight?”

“Not really. A TV dinner, some ironing, a good book at bedtime?”

“Are you hungry?”

“Now you mention it.”

“Where shall we go? I don’t really know any decent restaurants round here now.”

“I do. What do you fancy? Indian, Chinese, Italian, burgers, kebabs?”

“I love Chinese. As you well know.” Ben grinned, remembering that this had been on his list from the night before.

“Great. I’ll just go to the loo before we go then. Separate cars though, that was bad planning wasn’t it?”

“We’ll get better at this over time.”

“Oh, will we?” Ruby grinned and planted a smacker of a kiss on his lips before crossing the pub to the toilet. Cheryl got up to follow her, and Fiona walked over to Ben.

“Hi Ben. We didn’t realise that you were seeing Ruby.”

“Hi Fiona. We were keeping it quiet until I’d had a chance to talk to Gavin about it today. I wasn’t sure what the protocol was, but he says it’s fine provided we don’t let our relationship interfere with work, and that we don’t do anything to cause any damage to the council’s reputation – which we won’t.”

“Oh, you’ve been going out with each other for a while then?” Fiona fished shamelessly.

“A little while, although we’ve known each other a long time. We met up again at my flatmate’s gym. Strange coincidence really.”

In the toilet Ruby was getting a more intense level of interrogation from Cheryl, who, unhampered by an audience, was quite merciless in her questioning. Ruby parried it all, thankful that Sally had given them both a good grounding the night before, and that she was blessed with an excellent memory.

“I’d better get back Cheryl. Ben and I are going out to dinner but I have to go and drop my car off first. No point in taking two cars really.”

“I know you aren’t going to want to hear this but ….”

“…. but what? Is something wrong?” Ruby feigned innocence as she picked up her handbag.

“Well, Karen thought that, well she thought that Ben was making a pass at her in the departmental meeting yesterday. Fiona and I thought that too.” said Cheryl, a look of spiteful glee upon her face.

“Funny that,” Ruby replied. “Kathy told me that she observed something in the meeting yesterday, except she said it looked as if Karen was climbing all over Ben, and that he was very uncomfortable about it. That’s what he said too. Besides, Gavin wouldn’t ever tolerate two members of staff in his own team being in a relationship. He was quite clear about that when he spoke to Ben this morning.”

Cheryl stepped back out of Ruby’s way as she walked out of the toilet. “Gavin knows?” she gasped.

“Oh yes.” Ruby replied. “We didn’t want to say anything until Ben had checked it out with Gavin, but he’s fine about it. See you.”

“Wouldn’t want to be you.” muttered Ben as he drained the last of his drink and handed Ruby her jacket. “Did you get the third degree too?”

“Oh yes, give me a hug you gorgeous man, Karen is about to burst into floods.”

“You are a truly wicked woman Ruby but I am beginning to enjoy this.” said Ben as he pulled her into his arms and breathed in the very faint smell of Chanel No 5 on her neck. Very different from Karen’s extremely expensive perfumes that tended to cling to everyone’s clothes and impair their sense of smell.

Having already decided that taking two cars was pointless, and that getting changed out of work clothes was equally pointless because they were both starving, Ben followed Ruby’s car back to her flat, and waited whilst she parked in her allotted space and locked up. She lived in a little purpose-built block. Hers was a one-bedroomed flat on the first floor with a small balcony overlooking the woods to the rear of the car park.

Ruby got in the car, putting her handbag in the footwell and not slamming the door too hard.

“Okay then, are we ready?” she asked.

“Oh, um yes. Can you give me directions please?”

“Of course. It isn’t far, and should be reasonably quiet at this time of night. It gets busier as the evening wears on. We often go after work – especially when we’ve had some difficult sessions.”

Ben continued to be impressed by Ruby. She knew her left from her right for a start, and gave him plenty of notice when he had to make a turn. The restaurant was in a little parade of shops set back from the main road, and didn’t look that impressive. They managed to get a parking space just outside however, and once inside, Ben was pleased to see that it was actually twice the size.

The waiter greeted Ruby as an old friend and showed them to a table for two on the far side of the room. As she wasn’t driving, Ruby plumped for a nice Merlot and felt pleased when he agreed with her choice. Too hungry to bob around on the menu, they went for the set meal, which contained dishes that both of them liked. They nibbled on the prawn crackers provided, and waited for their chicken and sweetcorn soup to arrive. Ben poured them both a glass of wine, his limit when driving.

“To us then Ben?” Ruby smiled “Don’t look now but a party of our colleagues have just entered the room. I said don’t look!”

Unable to resist the temptation, Ben had turned his head towards the door where Cheryl, Fiona and a very pale Karen, together with a couple of chaps from IT who had been in the pub earlier, were being shown to a larger table on the other side of the room.

“Guess we’ll have to keep up the love stuff during dinner as well then. Sally will split her sides laughing when she hears about this!”

Sipping her wine and giving a slight nod to Cheryl et al. Ruby was hard put to restrain her giggles. Ben, mellowed by a couple of healthy slurps of red wine, was unable to keep the smile off his face either.

“Did you tell them we were coming here then?”

“Good lord no!” Ruby exclaimed.  “I said we were going out for a meal but I didn’t say where. Cheryl knows that my team comes here a lot though. It looks as if we’ve broken Karen’s heart between us. A bad case of pink-eye there.”

“I swear that I never encouraged her.” Ben said earnestly.

Ruby’s eyes twinkled mischievously. She put her hand over Ben’s in a caring and protective manner.

“It’s okay my darling. I trust you. I know that you were just an innocent victim of her womanly wiles.”

With a barely perceptible wink, Ben raised Ruby’s hand to his lips and kissed it, never taking his eyes off hers. She felt herself blushing although she knew this was all part of the act. The tension was broken by the arrival of the soup, and more prawn crackers.

Ben had been hoping for a quiet, stress-free dinner; he already found Ruby to be a pleasant companion and was looking forward to picking her brains about some of his new colleagues. Having those colleagues sitting across the rapidly filling restaurant, watching their every move made things rather more complicated, but at the same time, the food was good, the company was better, and the wine was making everything seem more amenable by the minute. The only sour note was the feeling that Karen’s red-rimmed gimlet eyes were boring into him, trying to decide whether he and Ruby really were an item or not.

More acting required then?

When the soup was finished, an ornate plate of dim sum was served; steamed dumplings, spring rolls, crisp parcels of prawn and minced chicken, seaweed and beautifully carved vegetable decorations. Ruby cast a sneaky sideways glance at the other table where the three women appeared to be arguing with the two men over what to order.

“I think there may be a little bit of tensions brewing over there,” she whispered. “The two guys from IT that they’ve picked up are consultants; they aren’t salaried staff. I think the ladies may have been under the impression that the chaps were going to foot the bill, but consultants rarely pay for anything if they can’t claim it back. I doubt if they’d be able to put this on their expenses, so they’ll have just made it quite clear that they expect to be treated to their dinner because they’ve been so kind as to accompany Karen and her friends.”

“I see.” said Ben, picking up a spring roll and dipping it into the sweet chilli sauce. “How do you think they are going to resolve this then?”

“Hmmmm. Depends on how desperate the ladies are to keep their escorts AND keep an eye on us. My guess is, if they don’t agree to treat the lads to dinner, they will walk and find dinner elsewhere. I happen to know that one of them is gay, and the other is very much married. They both have homes to go to, and won’t be that bothered if they don’t get fed. I’m not really sure why they got roped in anyway. I suppose Cheryl thought it would look less like they were stalking us if they had blokes with them. Do you want some seaweed? “

“Yes please. Do you want to share that last crab claw?”

Ruby nodded as Ben bit off half of the claw meat and put the other half in her mouth. She chewed it slowly, then licked her lips in a lascivious manner that made him laugh. She put the last of the seaweed onto his plate, licking the last few pieces from the spoon, knowing without even having to look that Karen was about to burst into tears again, or rush over and throttle one of them – probably her.

Mercifully, the waiter came to clear the plates away, and give them hot towels to clean their sticky fingers. By the time the table was cleared, the IT guys had left and the three witches were looking most unhappy at having to foot the bill for their dinners. Ben was surprised that they hadn’t left as well, but supposed that this would make their spying tactics look really obvious.

By the time Ruby and Ben had finished their main course the waiter had just unceremoniously plonked a bowl of prawn crackers on the table that the triad were sharing. He did not appear to be impressed by the fact that two of their party had disappeared, nor that they had been quite rude and ungracious when ordering their food. The restaurant was full, he’d had to turn a party of five away because there was no room and now, he had an under-occupied table with three women who had only ordered prawn crackers with soup.

Ruby refused dessert and Ben followed suit in a gentlemanly fashion. They had agreed that Ben would pay the bill as it would look more convincing, and Ruby would settle up later in the car. The waiter brought Ruby’s jacket and shook their hands warmly as they left, giving a polite wave and smile to their three colleagues whose faces reflected the flavour of their soup – hot and sour.

Walking out of the restaurant hand in hand seemed the natural thing to do, releasing her hand as they neared the car, Ben unlocked the doors and walked round to the driver’s side after opening the passenger door for her.

Ruby delved in her purse to pay for her share of the meal once inside. Ben put out a hand to stop her. “It’s okay. You can pay next time.” he said grinning.

“Are you sure? We did say we’d settle up after.”

“Honestly. It was a great meal and I’ve enjoyed your company. The floor show was pretty amusing as well.”

Ruby laughed and shook her head. “I don’t know the three of them that well, Cheryl’s been on a couple of my courses, and I was in the office with them last week but I can’t believe that they’d go to those lengths to check up on us. Are you going to be okay in the office tomorrow, Ben?”

He pulled a face. “I’ll be fine. They can be as bitchy as they like. Gavin was quite emphatic that he discouraged fraternisation between members of his team, and he’s asked me to keep an eye on the three of them, and get an IT check organised for their computers – and on Mandy’s especially. Now that Mark is working with Peter and me, it could be very amusing – and productive. Gavin also told me that he’s involved in a special project regarding an ex-member of staff who was involved in a scandal last year. I don’t think he was talking about Donal.”

“They’ll never catch Donal. He’s far too clever for them. The police spent months searching through Europe looking for him. There was even some suggestion of a team going to New Zealand when it was discovered that Donal was interested in ‘Lord of the Rings’. Sally and I know roughly which direction he went in and it wasn’t in search of the sun. Quite the opposite.”

“Does Sally know where he is?”

“No. He sent her another letter which was routed through several different places in case anyone was checking her post. Wherever he is, Donal and his wife are happy and settled. His skills are in demand and he’s making a mint – which is why he’s managed to repay the money he borrowed. Sally’s just happy that he’s safe and he’s got over it all.”

Ben had remembered the way back to Ruby’s flat without any mistakes, and this time it was her turn to be impressed. There was one of those moments where she wondered if she should ask him up for coffee, but just as she was about to say something, he looked at his watch and remarked on the time.

“Gosh, I’d better get in,” Ruby said. “I’ve no ironed clothes for tomorrow and the washing up from this morning to do yet. Thanks Ben, I had a lovely evening.” She reached over and gave him a swift peck on the cheek before grabbing her handbag and almost jumping out of the car.

Ben watched her go into the entrance hall of the flats, turn and wave. He turned the engine on again, trying to rally his thoughts.  A text appeared on his phone. It was from Ruby.

Thank you for a lovely evening. Text me when you get home so that I know you are safe? Ruby x

A kiss.  Oh dear.  Was this going to complicate matters now? To make matters worse there was a card from Melissa waiting for him when he got home.  She wished him luck in his new job but said that she missed him terribly. 

Life was complicated at times.

In addition to his brief of putting paid to Sally once and for all, Gavin also had a number of job cuts to identify. Most of them were easy pickings; older people who would attract a large redundancy or retirement packages in the normal course of things, but once Gavin had homed in on them and decided that their jobs were no longer needed, he was very good at finding something in the woodshed that could justify their sacking without notice or even holiday pay. It was a skill that he had been developing over time, and the only downside was that it often attracted negative publicity when much-loved members of staff suddenly found themselves being escorted off the premises, with their worldly goods in a cardboard box and no time to say goodbye.

Death threats meant little to Gavin, although they usually signified a handsome golden handshake for him and a move elsewhere. He had garnered a reputation for his hatchet jobs, and had been specifically sought out by other local authorities for the last three posts he had held. The councillors at each local authority had identified areas where they thought they could safely lose staff, and although Gavin would take out a couple of people from these teams, within a month of starting his new post, he had also drawn up his own list of staff that needed to be axed within the next year.

Gavin wondered how the members of his own team would react had they been aware that they were on his new hit list too. Mandy was an immediate candidate; whilst Gavin could turn a blind eye to some indiscretions, Mandy wasn’t just indiscreet, she was totally clueless and had no control over anyone in her team.  Her current status of being on sick leave could be successfully overridden by an unescapable assessment by the Occupational Health team.  They were very good at spotting ‘frauds and malingerers’, and from what he knew of (and had heard about) Mandy, there was plenty of evidence to prove her incompetence as a manager, and her abuse of the authority systems.  Gavin’s false Facebook profile enabled him to snoop the posts of any employee who had been unwary in their choice of privacy settings.  Mandy’s posts had been extremely candid, and totally incriminating as far as Gavin was concerned.  With the exception of Joanna, who was too dim to take advantage, Ben, who was an unknown quantity and had very secure settings on his social media accounts, and Peter, who had learnt to keep under the radar and do as he was asked, the rest of the team were all at risk. Gavin wasn’t sure about Peter or Ben yet, he had hopes that they might develop cunning consciences in time but failure to do this would definitely result in dismissal as well.

The terrible triad were borderline at the moment; Gavin quite admired their tenacious abilities to break just about every rule in the book, and while Fiona and Cheryl had learned to cover their tracks to some extent, Karen was too blatant for own good and was therefore the first choice for the chop. Gavin had already carried out a very basic IT check of their computer logs; he knew about Cheryl’s little gambling habit, Fiona’s online shopping sprees and Karen’s dating profile. He also had deeper darker secrets gleaned from Karen’s computer that would leave her without any defence if he decided to sack her.

What of Ben? His newest acquisition; something of an enigma, Ben kept his head down, did what was being asked of him, and appeared more than capable of gathering information to further Gavin’s plans.  Could he be trusted with the ground work for the total annihilation of Sally though? Gavin felt he needed more time and opportunity to get to know Ben. Picking up the phone he asked Joanna to set up a lunchtime meeting; Gavin liked lunchtime meetings; he would get Joanna to arrange them at short notice, so that the employee hadn’t had the opportunity to go out and get lunch first. Gavin would already have eaten his mother’s margarine-loaded spam sandwiches long before. He hated spam, hated white bread and especially hated margarine, but felt that by eating the sandwiches, he was paying a penance in advance and this gave him licence to do anything he wanted. It also meant that his stomach wasn’t the one that was rumbling uncomfortably throughout the meeting.

One of Gavin’s strengths was his ability to give bad news and make it sound like he was doing the person a favour. His rise to the top of his profession was littered with interviews that started off as chats and ended with sackings. His previous employers were in awe of Gavin’s ability to take on onerous tasks and accomplish them with alacrity, whilst managing to avoid further messiness – in most cases.

Every now and again however, he came across a difficult case. A case such as Sally’s. Technically speaking, she was in the right. John had made the arrangements regarding her severance pay and it had been signed off by the Chief Executive in accordance with procedures. It was Michael however, that felt that Sally was in some part responsible for the scandal that had rocked the offices the previous year. She had written the book about the staff hit list, and even if it was only a piece of harmless fun as far as she was concerned; it caused total chaos throughout the council.

There were some that might say Sally had done everyone a favour as some of those who were ‘murdered’ in the book had been under suspicion for years.  Redundancy or retirement packages would have been particularly crippling to a local authority already put in dire straits by national government austerity cuts, so having them ‘resign’ from embarrassment was a stroke of good luck. Sally’s friend Donal had actually drawn up a spreadsheet showing the potential savings, and it was this that led to him fleeing the country with his wife. The police had decided not to go hunting for Donal as his trail went very cold after the couple had crossed the Channel. Michael felt that Sally knew where Donal was however, and although all of the money he embezzled from the council had been returned, Michael was determined to get his pound of flesh from somebody, and Sally was the obvious choice.

Gavin was curious about the previous relationship between Sally and Michael. He knew that they shared an interest in psychology, and that Sally had proved very useful in providing Michael with the specific data he needed when a scandal had been about to break. He had grudgingly mentioned that Sally’s abilities to interrogate their recording systems was unrivalled. Gavin wondered if perhaps this assumed ‘betrayal’ was why Michael was so determined to ruin her reputation and wreck her life?

Putting his briefcase on the desk and checking that everyone out in the office was busy, Gavin decided that he had a few minutes to look at Sally’s folder again before he got Joanna to call Ben in for an interview. He flipped past the recent pages, and went to the very back of the folder where the original data was recorded when Sally was given her first contract with the council. There wasn’t anything that stood out, apart from the fact that she seemed to be very chummy with a previous director of the service, and that she was employed only on a casual basis for over a year. The file listed the names of her husband and sons; he made a note of their names and dates of birth, intending to run a check on their education records to see if there was anything of note buried there. This idea brought a smile to his thin lips as he closed up the folder and locked it back in his briefcase. He picked up the phone. “Joanna?”

“Yes, Mr Slime?”

“Tell Ben I’d like to see him at twelve o’clock. What lunch is he on?”

“He’s on earlies this week. I heard Karen inviting him to go over to the pub for a sandwich.”

“Karen? Really?”

“Yes. She’s changed her lunch to earlies too.”

“Hmmm. Invite Ben discreetly please? I don’t want Karen to know he won’t be free to go to lunch with her.”

‘Oh, okay Mr Slime. Whatever you say.”

Joanna put the phone down and thought. She thought really hard for a couple of minutes then looked at the clock. It was ten to twelve already and Karen was rustling in her handbag for some make up to refresh her face before going to lunch. Smiling to herself, Joanna formulated her plan. She would wait till Karen went out to the toilets to do her face, and then she would nip over to Ben’s desk and tell him about Mr Slime’s request.

She didn’t have long to wait.

As soon as Karen had disappeared out of the door, Joanna walked quickly over to Ben’s desk and bent down to speak to him in what was quite an intimate fashion for her.

“Mr Slime wants to see you in his office at twelve. He says not to talk to anyone else about it, he has some highly confidential work for you to do.”

Ben’s heart leapt at this reprieve from lunch with Karen. He nodded in agreement and began to close up his folders in preparation, and grab a pen and some paper. Karen returned with another layer of foundation, powder, mascara, and lipstick applied on top of her already heavily camouflaged face. She smiled in Ben’s direction and proceeded to lock her computer, and change from flat shoes into killer heels that made her stagger like a new born foal as she went to fetch her coat from the stand.

 The smile on her face turned to a frown as Ben got to his feet, gave what he felt was an apologetic smile, and walked past her to Joanna’s desk. He had told Ruby about Karen’s invitation in the hope that she might be able to join him, but she was running a training session all day. She had promised to meet him in the pub after work however, and he had high hopes that a little bit of handholding there might be enough to start the gossip going.

Joanna looked up and smiled as Ben approached.

She liked Ben.

She didn’t like Karen.

Or Fiona.

Or Cheryl.

Or even Mandy for that matter. They were very bitchy and spoke to her like she was stupid. Joanna knew that she was never going to win any prizes for brilliance, but she wasn’t as daft as she made herself out to be. She had learned as a teenaged modern apprentice in the local authority, that it didn’t pay to be too clever, and that long blonde hair, big blue eyes, a good figure, and a pleasant smile could overcome most issues if used in the right way.

She got up and knocked on Gavin’s door. This was rather academic as Gavin’s office was glazed on three sides so he could see what was going on. He had blinds to lower for privacy but only rarely did he do this. Gavin looked up and nodded; Joanna opened the door and ushered Ben in, closing the door quietly behind her. Gavin stood up and reached his hand across the table. Ben took his hand and shook it, not feeling comfortable with the cold clammy feel of Gavin’s fingers and the limpness of his handshake.

“Do sit down Ben. How’s it going?”

Ben had come prepared; he handed Gavin the dossier he had compiled regarding the policy and procedure errors, together with the names and dates of everyone involved.

“This is the tip of the iceberg I’m afraid.  I’m keeping a very secure file online which is being updated every day as new information is uncovered.  I’m afraid that it isn’t just lower level staff involved, there are some quite prominent upper management names listed, although I note that some of them have resigned in the past year.”

Gavin looked up from the dossier, his thin lips leeching into a smile of sorts.

“This is very good work Ben.  Very good.  I understand that you come from this area originally. Have you noticed many changes in the five years that you’ve been away?”

“To be honest, I wasn’t that interested in local politics before I went off to university.  I worked in the local pub during holidays, but once I’d moved to London permanently, this place kind of faded into obscurity – apart from contact with my mother of course.”

“Any other relatives?”

“We lost contact with my Dad’s side of the family when he died, and any other relatives are scattered across the globe.  Christmas cards only and the annual newsletter with births marriages and deaths.”

“You were in a relationship in London I understand?”

“Melissa and I were together all through university, but her family lives down South and she didn’t want to move away with me. My mother has been unwell and I felt that by coming here to work and live, I could give her more support.”

“You don’t live with your mother though?”

“No.  We get on better if we don’t live in each other’s pockets.  I’m sharing a flat with an old friend from college.  We live over a gym so it’s very convenient for getting in some exercise away from a computer.”

“Very commendable. Is there anything else that you think I should know Ben?

Ben knew that he was blushing a little but felt that this might give credibility to his next announcement.

“Since I came back, I’ve met up with another old friend.  Her name is Ruby, and she works in the training department.  I know that personal relationships with other staff are not encouraged, but there do seem to be some quite high-profile instances throughout our own department.”

Gavin did his best to hide his annoyance at this disclosure; his quick and devious mind saw a way of getting more personal information on Sally.  Did Ben know about Ruby’s role in Sally’s employment tribunal?  Could he be trusted to glean information from her about Sally’s intentions.

Ben observed the small change in expression before Gavin composed himself. There had been sessions on body language and facial expressions on his course that Ben had thought a little melodramatic in the past.  He felt very grateful for them now.

“Ruby has told me that she is supporting an ex-member of staff through an employment tribunal.  She is aware that it would not be appropriate to discuss this with me, and by the same token, I have made it quite clear that my work here is highly confidential.  If our relationship is to continue, it will be on a professional basis at all times during working hours.  I said that I would need to take advice and guidance from yourself before we made any decisions.”

“I appreciate that Ben.  It’s true that there are other people in the authority, indeed, in this particular department, who are married or in partnerships, so technically, and provided that you maintain a professional stance whilst at work there is no problem. You may be aware however, that I am dealing with this particular employment situation, and if any information was to find its way out of this office, those concerned would be subject to instance dismissal on the grounds of gross misconduct.”

Ben allowed his face to take on a disappointed air.  Gavin raised his hand to signify that he handed finished yet.

“Provided that you give me your assurances with regard to confidentiality and your loyalty to me as the head of your department, I will give permission for the relationship to continue.  In view of the behaviour of a certain member of staff in this office, having a girlfriend might mean that you are protected from her amorous advances during your working hours.”

Ben took a deep breath and smiled.

“Thank you, Gavin.  It was beginning to be a problem, especially in meetings.  I’m seeing Ruby after work today; she was going to consult her manager as well.  I have to face the fact that this may never develop beyond the friendship we had before I moved to London though.  People change quite a lot in five years.”

“Indeed.  I am very impressed with your work so far Ben.  Just one thing, how do you find Peter in terms of a trustworthy colleague.”

“He is totally trustworthy and not happy about the fact that Mandy had ignored his reports on contract delay and policy errors.  He is working very hard on the areas of responsibility that you have given him.  Together with the work he assists me with, it’s a mammoth task however.  We could do with another colleague really.”

“Any ideas?”

“Peter’s previous colleague Mark.  He is very familiar with the systems, but was demoted to the post room by Mandy after he complained about being harassed by female member of staff.”

“Excellent! Get a desk and computer sorted for him, and he should be back in his proper place this afternoon. Thank you, Ben.  This has been a very constructive meeting.  Can I ask you to get Mark’s work area sorted before you go to lunch please?”

“Of course. Peter is on late lunches and I’ll ask him to pick up a sandwich for me while he is out.”

“You know the decent sandwich shops already then?” Gavin looked a little wistfully at the empty, sad and faded plastic sandwich box on his desk.

“Would you like me to ask Peter to get you anything from the shop?  They do very good muffins as well?”

Gavin was tempted but the disapproving vision of his mother reared up in front of him.

“Thank you for the offer, but I ate lunch earlier.”

As Ben rose from his seat, Gavin rose also and extended his hand again.  It still felt very clammy and cold.  He turned quickly and left the office, smiling at Joanna as he passed.  By the time he had reached his desk, the smile had widened to a grin as he sent a silent but jubilant email to Peter about Mark’s reinstatement.

Karen was still out at lunch but Fiona and Cheryl could not ignore the fact that an additional desk and computer was being put back next to Peter and Ben’s desk, nor that both men were making calls and sending confirmation emails to IT.

When Peter went off to collect the sandwiches, he was almost skipping as he left the building.

Sally leaned over and stroked Ben’s hair back from his forehead. She hated to see him looking so defeated.

“My poor love, you thought you were doing the right thing.  Your motives have always been of the best. Even as a little boy you were always very kind and trusting; always ready to see the best in the other children even when they were horrible. I’d hoped that studying Human Resources might toughen you up a bit, not as much as the dreaded Slime, but enough to shrug off the advances if the office harpy.”

Ben blushed profusely; it was true that none of his studies had actually covered fending off amorous colleagues, and there was no way he wanted to be as ruthless as Gavin Slime, but he thought that his studies, an increased level of maturity and years of being in a relationship with Melissa, would have enabled him to deal with the dreaded Karen.

He found himself unable to meet Ruby’s eyes across the dinner table. For Ruby, this was a turning point. She decided then that Ben was rather nice and that she should try and do something to help him.

“I’ll be your fantasy girlfriend if you like.” she said, spooning in more chilli and waiting for a reaction.

Sally laughed. Then she stopped laughing and looked over at Ruby quizzically. “Are you serious, darling?”

Ruby nodded. “Think about it. Ben comes from around here originally, so it makes sense if he has a girlfriend from the area, a girl who knew him before he went off to London and is overjoyed that he has gained his masters, and come back here to work.  I’m young, free and single at the moment. I had first-hand experience of the three witches when I worked over in the office last week, so I know what I’m up against. Ben and I wouldn’t be allowed any public displays of affection during working hours, but we’d only have to be seen in the town at lunchtime, or after work at the pub before the rumour mill starts to work. Ben can say that he kept quiet about it because he wasn’t too sure about the policy on couples working in the same team – although we aren’t even in the same department. Besides, Margaret and Desmond work in the same department and they are married.”

“The less said about Margaret and Desmond’s marriage the better.  What do you think Ben?”

Sally turned towards a shocked Ben, who was looking pale and making no attempt to eat all. He kept looking across the table at Ruby, who was eating her chilli with gusto. Under normal circumstances, if he’d been introduced to her at a party or in the pub, he would have said unequivocally that she was his type, and that she was very attractive, but pretending to be in a relationship with her in order to protect himself from the harpy that was Karen was just wrong. He still had thoughts of Melissa in his head every night.  And day.  The last thing he needed to clutter up his mind was another entanglement, even with someone as bright and gorgeous as Ruby.

“Ben. Speak to me?”

Sally put her hand over his and pulled his face round to her with her other hand.

“Ruby is very kindly offering to save you from certain misery. I happen to think that she makes a very attractive and intelligent companion, and any hot-blooded young man would be only too happy to take her out to lunch or for a drink after work.”

Ben shook his chin free and coughed in embarrassment. Ruby wondered if she had gone too far, he was actually very good-looking, especially when he blushed.

“It was just an idea Ben. I didn’t mean to embarrass you, or make you feel uncomfortable. I just thought it would be a bit more believable if your fantasy girlfriend was real. I know all about you from Sally, and I’m the only person that knows that you are Sally’s godson. It might be useful if people thought we were an item?”

“She’s right Ben. Just stop and think a bit. If you and Ruby see each other at work, she can give you some of the information you need, and you can pass things on to her as well. If Ruby’s willing to expose herself to Karen’s wrath by posing as your girlfriend, I think you’d be churlish to turn her down. Have you had enough to eat yet or have you lost your legendary appetite?”

The chilli was remembered and so was Ben’s appetite. His forehead furrowed as he tucked in again, and thought through Ruby’s proposition. Was this really what he had spent four years of university studying for his masters?  Sally cleared the rest of the food away and went off to stack the dishwasher. Ruby sipped at the last of her wine pensively and looked across the table at Ben who had finally finished his dinner.

“Well?” she said. “Is the thought of me as your girlfriend so repellent?”

He had the grace to blush again. “No – please – I didn’t mean it to sound that way at all. I’m – how much has Sally told you about my current situation?”

“Not much. You’ve been at Uni in London. You have a masters. Your mum is Sally’s sister. You’re sharing a flat with a guy who runs a gym.”

“I was in a relationship until recently. We’d been together right the way through Uni and always intended to settle down together in London. Then this thing cropped up with Sally and after talking to Mum, I thought well, all experience is useful and I had to start somewhere so it may as well be here and see if I could help Sally out. Melissa, my girlfriend, didn’t see it the same way. She thought that putting my family first was wrong, and that she should be my first priority. I saw a side of her that I didn’t like, and that was effectively the end of us.  I knew Simon was living back here and gave him a call, we both liked the idea of sharing again – and there we are. My life in a nutshell.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realise about your – your ex-girlfriend. How long ago did you split up?”

Ben took a deep breath and tried to banish the painful parting.

“Once we’d – well I’d decided to take the job here there seemed little point in staying. I packed my things up into a van and drove home. I spent some time helping around the house, doing odd jobs, and working behind the bar at our local. Mum was glad to have me home for a while; it hasn’t been easy for her since Dad died. Keeping busy kept my mind off things. I miss Melissa though, miss the life she and I had together, but if what we had was really that good, she would have come with me. Wouldn’t she?”

Not completely sure whether she would have stayed with the bright lights of the big city, or followed Ben up North, Ruby stayed silent for a moment. Sally came back in carrying ice cream and home-made brownies. Discussion was temporarily halted whilst pudding was consumed and it was Ruby, after raising a warning eyebrow at her friend, who gathered up the bowls and spoons to take them out to the kitchen.

Sally grabbed Ben’s hand again.

“Before you say anything more, I have to tell you that I’ve been talking to your mum whilst I was in the kitchen. Don’t look at me like that Ben, she is my sister after all. She told me what happened in London. Darling I am so sorry. Perhaps it’s too soon to be pretending that you have a new girlfriend when you’re still tender from splitting up from Melissa. I’m just worried that although Karen and her chums have lost a considerable amount of their power now that Mandy is out of the picture, she can make your life a misery if she can’t get her claws into you. Ruby   supplied me with some very graphic descriptions of the three witches the other day. I’ve worked with women like that before. I really don’t want you chewed up and spat out in bubbles my love.”

Unable to suppress a grin at the very thought, Ben looked a lot happier when Ruby came back into the room. She had eked out her absence as long as possible but even after a visit to the bathroom had been accomplished, she couldn’t stay away any longer. Sally got up and fetched two A4 pads and two pens from her desk. She placed them in front of Ben and Ruby.

 “Okay you two. I want you to write twenty things about yourself that you think would be important for a partner to know. I’m sure I can do better than an online dating agency any day.”

Ben gave her a look. “I haven’t said yes yet.”

“Nor will you until you’ve both done as I’ve asked you to. It may well be that you have nothing in common, and are completely incompatible. On the other hand, you may discover that there are several areas of interest that are the same, or at least overlap. Get writing!”

Ruby giggled and picked up her pen, intrigued to find out whether she and Ben were a match or not. Ben had to admit, only to himself, that this was more fun than brooding over Melissa.  Sally returned to the kitchen, made a huge pot of coffee, and texted an update to both her sister, and Ed. By the time she came back Ben and Ruby were both writing furiously and on their second sheets of paper. Once they had finished, Sally gathered up the papers and with her spectacles perched on the end of her nose, smiled as she worked her way through them.

The coffee was good; hot and strong with cream and brown sugar on the side. Ruby poured cups for the three of them, and watched as Sally’s smile spread into a grin. She put the papers down and looked from one to the other.

“Well.  It would appear that the two of you have a great deal in common.  There are a few areas of slight disagreement, but I assume that’s fairly normal. I’ve been with your uncle for thirty-four years Ben, and I still don’t understand why he refuses to drink coffee when he loves the smell of it. I’ve explained to him that the rubbish instant coffee he drank as a teenager bears no resemblance to the decent coffee I use – but he won’t even try it. There are some things in life that aren’t worth having an argument about.  Why don’t you have a look at each other’s answers?”

She passed them the papers and sat back, cradling her coffee cup in her hands as she sipped it slowly.

It was Ruby that started laughing first, then Ben joined in and as both of them showed Sally what had caused their amusement, she started laughing again. Ruby looked over at Ben.

 “Fancy ‘My Cousin Vinnie’ and ‘Blazing Saddles’ being your favourite films!”

“Or the fact that you love crab sandwiches and hate Brussel sprouts.”

Sally pulled a face. “Everyone hates Brussel sprouts. Don’t they?”

“Okay.” said Ben. “Not everyone likes salad cream and sliced cheese sandwiches, or going to the beach when it’s raining.”

“Or Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman.”

“Or listening to the Divine Comedy and Joni Mitchell.”

Nodding sagely, Sally shrugged.

“I rest my case. You two quite unwittingly have many shared interests. Now write down the things that you think someone like Karen would expect you to know about each other – where you live, how old you are, family members and friends – don’t put me down either of you – pets, schools, universities, qualifications – you know the score. When you’ve finished, swap over and memorise. Your Aunty Sally will give you a test and there will be a prize for the winner.”

“What kind of prize?” said Ruby eagerly, her competitive edge beginning to show.

“Certain safety for my lovely nephew, and something to keep you occupied so you don’t end up strangling Bob or head-butting Margaret. If you make Adam cry Ruby, I will get cross. The poor man is just a lamb to the slaughter in all this.”

“Humph, he still collects a salary at the end of the month though doesn’t he, which is more than you do anymore.”

“Concentrate Ruby, I think you’ll find that Ben is just as competitive as you are.” said Sally. “You may even have met your match. One thing you will have to do Ben, is to explain your relationship with Ruby to Gavin Slime. He may see it as a threat to his plans to scupper my tribunal, but on the other hand, he might think that he can get you to find out more about my plans through Ruby.”

Ruby snorted.  “As if I’d give anything away that would help that creep!”

“Think laterally darling.  I can give you misleading information that you can pass on to Ben, and he can give it to the Slimy one.”

Ben was seeing a sign of Sally that he had never seen before.  She had always been his kind and funny aunt, but now he could understand how and why she had written such a devious and cunning exposure of her ex-colleagues in her book. His mother had given him a copy when she knew that he was considering taking up the job offer.  Although he had only been working for the local authority for a short time, he had already identified some of her characters, and witnessed some of the sharp practices that she had exposed.

“I have a feeling that I know what’s going on in your mind Ben.  You’ve read the book and now you are smack in the middle of the den of manipulating wolves.  If this is too much, then cut your losses while you are still on probation.  This is going to get very ugly, and I have no serial killer to bump off those who would seek to destroy me.”

He had to admit that he had thought that some of the issues in the book were a bit far-fetched, but now he was experiencing the corruption for real, he could see why Sally had proved to be such an annoyance to her more incompetent colleagues.  He took a deep breath, squared his shoulders and grinned at Sally and Ruby.

“My mother always says that I take after you more than her, Sally. Stubborn and too strong-willed for my own good.  I hate admitting defeat so I accept the challenge!”

Ben was enjoying some of his work. Peter had become a useful ally, but Joanna had remained impervious to his charms, so he was no closer to finding out what Gavin Slime was up to.  The occupants of Room 19 remained a mystery as well; no one seemed to know who worked in the room or what those who worked in there did. Ben had considered going in there to introduce himself, but when he suggested this to Peter, his reaction of total horror acted as something of a deterrent.

As part of the local authority’s induction scheme, Ben had to go through a series of courses and talks designed to ease him into the policies and procedures of the local authority and its various departments. As part of his university degree had been designing induction courses, Ben was partly looking forward to the process in terms of curiosity, and part dreading it in case it turned out to be just as chaotic as everything else in the council seemed to be.

It would also give him the opportunity to escape the office and the unfortunate development that was Karen. It appeared that she had decided to abandon her online dating and to set her sights on Ben instead; cheaper and less effort involved as he was sitting at a desk within her eye-line, and easy prey as far as she was concerned. Karen was not his type. She was a redhead and he preferred brunettes; Ben liked his women to be rounded and cuddly. Karen was stick thin with her new and extremely enhanced breasts sticking out like a pair of coconut pyramids. Her permanently erect nipples protruded through the flimsy tee-shirts and blouses she wore with micro skirts or skin-tight leggings that made her legs look like pipe cleaners with curiously saggy tops.

It had taken her a whole day to decide that Ben was her soul mate. First thing in the morning she was standing by his desk with a cup of coffee for him; pouting with disappointment as he explained that he didn’t drink tea or instant coffee, and had already visited a coffee shop on his way into work. She then perched on the edge of his desk, twining her legs in what she seemed to think was an enticing manner. She was wearing strangely patterned tights that made her legs look as if she was suffering from a dreadful skin disease; her skirt kept riding up so that every now and then Ben caught an unwelcome glimpse of the reinforced gusset of her tights.

He had plenty of work to get on with and Karen’s bottom was well and truly planted on it.

“I – um – could I just get to those papers you’re – um – sitting on please?” Ben asked as politely as possible, noting that Karen’s pout was becoming more pronounced by the moment. He was unwittingly saved by Cheryl and Fiona who had spotted a posting on Facebook from their boss Mandy that glued them to the computer screen. Karen, hating to be left out of anything that her two chums were enjoying, jumped off the desk and ran over to them, pulling the entire pile of paperwork onto the floor as she moved.

Peter came over to help Ben pick up the scattered files, motioning Ben not to say a word and risk arousing the ire of Karen even further. Fortunately, Gavin appeared out of his office and signalled for silence in the office.  Cheryl quickly clicked on the document she should have been working on and looked up at Gavin obediently.

“In the short time that I have been here, I have witnessed several practices that are not only unprofessional, but are also against the official polices of our employers.  Changing the method of clocking on and off has not been popular with all employees, but it does give me a better idea of who has been seriously defrauding the local authority by feeding false information into the system.”

He glared at Fiona, Cheryl and Karen, who had the grace to blush and look down at their desks.

“It seems that this is insufficient; you will all be aware that staff have to pass my office and Joanna’s desk in order to take comfort breaks in the lavatories.  Joanna has been keeping a manual log of who walks past, time spent out of the office, and whether the person was alone or not.”

Time for another glare in one particular direction. It was no secret who had taken to visiting the lavatory in a threesome, how long they took, or how frequent those trips were.

“I am not a harsh manager, and I am aware that female staff may have more reason to visit the lavatory frequently than male staff.  I have no intention of overriding your human rights or causing anyone physical distress by denying them the right to use the lavatory when necessary.  This is not a nightclub however, and there is no need for people to congregate in the lavatories when they should be doing the work that they are being paid for. From now on you must take your comfort breaks alone.  As you pass Joanna’s desk you will be given a red pass card which you will return to her when you come back into the office.  This will enable individual visits and frequency to be logged more efficiently.  If Joanna is away from her desk, you must send her an email. If you are going out for lunch, a cigarette, or attending an external meeting, you must clock out manually at reception. If you are going to a meeting within the building, you must send Joanna an email stating where you are going, and who you are meeting with.  You will all be receiving an email confirming this; a slightly different procedure regarding absence from desks is in the process of being adapted by other managers in all departments. Any questions?”

There was a stunned silence.  Ben and Peter exchanged conspiratorial winks; the lavatory monitoring idea had come from them after an extended comfort break where Fiona and Cheryl were comforting Karen after Gavin had disciplined her for the sloppiness of her work.

Having decided that the path to freedom and fun lay in seducing Ben, Karen’s efforts increased as the day wore on; she made a beeline for him in a meeting, sitting very close at the conference table and rubbing her knee against his. He tried to move away but this involved him moving closer to Cheryl who shook her plaits in annoyance and tapped her long silver nails against the table whenever he inched in her direction. He was so distracted that he missed a question that Gavin fired at him and had to ask for it to be repeated.  Karen smirking behind her hand didn’t help, and Gavin’s slow and emphasised repetition of his question merely made Ben look even more dense as he struggled to answer it.

He made it through to lunchtime and was struck dumb when Karen offered to take him over to the pub for a sandwich or whatever he wanted…? He was well aware of what else was on offer, but whilst desperately trying to think of a way out of his predicament, Fiona saved him by reminding Karen that she was supposed to be going out to a new coffee shop that was giving away free muffins. Gavin’s new policy about lunches meant that one of the three had to take a later lunch than the others; Karen had been nominated to go out first before all the muffins were gone.  Fiona and Cheryl went out for their allotted half hour when she returned but were disappointed by the fact that the coffee shop was only allowing one muffin per customer, so they had to queue up and wait, leaving no time at all for their usual shopping spree.

When all three had returned, Peter asked Ben if he was coming out to get a sandwich, Ben shot from his seat like a bullet from a gun and was in the corridor and pulling on his coat before Peter caught up with him.

“I’m afraid you’ve caught Karen’s eye.” said Peter, a little too gleefully for Ben’s liking.

“No. Please no.” said Ben, his face a picture of abject misery. “Apart from the fact that she frightens the life out of me, she’s really not my type at all.”

“What’s your type then?” Peter asked as they walked quickly up the hill to the sandwich shop.

“Cuddly, sweet, non-predatory.”

“Joanna then?”

“We-ell, yes but isn’t she having a thing with Gavin?”

“Don’t think so. I don’t think Gavin is having a thing with anyone apart from himself. Joanna was supposed to be getting married last year but she fell prey to the same issues as Karen. Bridezillas. At least Joanna’s bloke had the decency to dump her three months before the wedding, and before too much money had been spent. Karen used her share of the wedding money for her new boobs. What do you think of her new boobs? Success or not?”

Ben’s face took on a bilious look as he thought momentarily of Karen’s chest. He shook his head as if to dispel the vision.

“Horrible.” he said. “So false and hard looking. A woman’s breasts should be soft and pliant, not too big, not too small. My granddad always said they should be big enough to fill an honest man’s hand. Anything more is a waste; anything less isn’t worth bothering with.”

“For God’s sake don’t say that to Karen then. Do you have a partner?”

“Melissa and I were together for five years while we at Uni, but we split up when I got the job offer here. She works down in London and didn’t want to waste away in the sticks.”

“If I were you, I’d either get someone quick or let people know that you and Melissa are still partners and pining for each other. If Karen has decided that you are the one for her, only another woman will put her off, and she’ll have to be one hell of a woman.”

Ben made a mental note to call Sally as soon as possible and ask her advice. He paid for his sandwich and followed Peter back to the office. The rest of the afternoon passed more peacefully; Karen and her cronies were hard at work under Gavin’s eagle eye, whilst Peter and Ben were out at another pointless meeting. By the time they returned it was gone five o’clock, Cheryl and Fiona had vanished together with Karen who had left a note on Ben’s desk inviting him out for lunch the following day having adjusted the lunch rota. 

Peter looked at the note and whistled through his teeth. “You won’t be able to wriggle out of that one mate. That’s a summons.”

“Perhaps she’ll behave herself in public?” Ben suggested plaintively.

Peter grinned and shook his head. “Wear your cricket box. She’ll be making a grab for them whenever she can. She gets very tactile when aroused. She had a bit of a thing for Mark in between being jilted and boob-jobbed. He’s well and truly married and made a complaint about harassment, as well as all the other things that Karen and the other two do.  It’s very dark and miserable down in the post room. I saw him recently and although he’s miserable, he says he’s still happier being down there than being groped by Karen.”

“Oh God.” Ben put his head in his hands.

Peter patted his head, “Come on Ben. Time to go home.”

Ben turned off his computer, squared up the papers on his desk and locked everything personal away in his desk drawer, including Karen’s note. He followed Peter out of the building and to the pub car park.

“Coming in?” Peter asked.

“Not tonight. I – uh – have to go and see someone. Goodnight.”

As soon as he got in the car Ben pulled out his mobile and called Sally. She answered straight away.

“Hello Ben.”

“Sally! It’s me. Ben! Help me!”

“I know it’s you, Ben. Don’t tell me you have a crisis already!”

Whilst he felt disappointed that she obviously didn’t think he’d last that long; Ben was relieved that Sally wasn’t surprised that he had hit a problem.

“Can I come and see you please?”

“Of course, you can. Do you need feeding? Silly question. I’m doing chilli. Garlic bread or rice, or both?”

“Both. I had a sandwich at lunchtime but it was like eating cardboard.”

“Hmmm, I believe I know which sandwich shop you went to then. Come on. Tell me all your problems. I’ve got a nice bottle of Rioja open and it has your name on it too.”

Ben felt the relief surge through his body and out through his toes as he started the car and drove very carefully over to Sally’s house. He noticed a strange car parked outside, and felt a moment’s irritation that someone else was taking up Sally’s time and attention. He walked slowly up the garden path and put a smile on his face as Sally opened the door.

“Come on in. I’ve someone here that I want you to meet.”

Ben followed Sally into the front room where a young, very curvaceous brunette had risen to her feet to meet him. She smiled nervously and held out a hand.

“Ben, this is my Ruby. Ruby, this is my Ben and I think the two of you are going to have to form a support group very quickly.”

By the time Sally had warmed up the chilli, made some garlic bread, boiled rice and laid the table, Ruby and Ben had found some common ground in their detestation of Fiona, Cheryl and especially Karen. Ruby described her recent visit and how the morning was spent listening to the three of them plotting and cackling over a dating site. Ben updated the situation with the disturbing news that Karen appeared to have abandoned the online dating quest and fixated on him instead.

Ruby shook her head. “That’s not good. Do you have a partner?”

Ben shook his head. “Not any more. Her name is Melissa and she didn’t want to move away from London.”

“You’ll have to create one then.” said Sally briskly as she put a large tureen of chilli on the table and motioned for them to sit down whilst she fetched the rice and garlic bread. She left some in the kitchen for Ed, who was at work.

“Create one?” asked Ben as Sally ladled a large portion of chilli onto his plate. Ruby accepted a rather smaller portion.

“Yes! You won’t be the first bloke to invent a fantasy girlfriend in order to fend off a predator. From what I’ve heard about Karen, she won’t give in easily, and she won’t be fobbed off by any old fantasy girlfriend either. You are going to have to come up with something extremely believable.”

Ben paused, with his spoon halfway to his mouth, “I’m not that good at telling lies.”

Sally snorted. “And you’ve chosen to go into Human Resources!”

The look of abject misery that was clouding his handsome face made her instantly remorseful.

“Oh darling, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to cast doubt on your integrity but, help me here Ruby, the HR field isn’t exactly famous for truth and total honesty is it?”

Ruby grinned and nodded, almost choking on a piece of garlic bread.

“Sorry Ben, but I have to agree with Sally. If you’ve come to work for us with the intention of making our HR department into a textbook operation, then you are going to be sadly disappointed. At guess I would say that there’s only Peter in your team that has any integrity and it’s fast being drained out of him.”

The spoon had gone from Ben’s mouth to the table, and his appetite for Sally’s always delicious chilli was evaporating the more he heard about his employers.

“I should have spoken to you before I took the job, shouldn’t I?”

Ruby’s department had been organising a sizeable conference for some months; speakers had been booked, a venue arranged and funding agreed by Michael. Ruby had even managed to acquire some sponsorship from a new agency that was anxious to form links with the local authority. Publicity had gone out and the date was marked in the official online calendar, then Ruby received a call from Bumptious Bob, an operational manager whose responsibilities slightly overlapped into the areas that the conference was covering.

“Hi – erm Ruby,  isn’t it? Someone tells me that your department is thinking of setting up a conference.”

“Well, more than thinking about it. We have a venue, speakers, refreshments and the list of potential attendees has been drawn up for circulation.”

“Ah.”

“Ah?”

“Strictly speaking, you lot are treading on our toes.”

“We are what?”

“This is our area and we’ve been talking about having a conference for ages.”

“The plans for the conference were submitted to senior management months ago. The acting director gave his blessing and I’m sure Margaret was at the meeting where the funding was agreed.”

“Was she? She doesn’t remember the details, but she told me to phone you and tell you to cancel your conference.”

“She what!” Ruby held the phone away from her ear and looked at it in disgust.

“She thinks that we would make a better job of it – as we’re experts in the field rather than generic workers like yourselves in the training department. Adam has a PowerPoint demonstration that he’s used before, and I have some very good statistics.”

“Bob,” Ruby said, trying not to let anger and disgust creep into her voice. “The conference we’ve planned is a whole day; you’d need a bit more than stats and an old PowerPoint demo that everyone has already seen to fill the day. We have speakers arranged already, and all the content for the sessions has been sanctioned by Michael too.”

“Margaret is quite adamant about this. She won’t take no for an answer.”

“She’s going to have to take no from me.” Ruby replied, rapidly texting her boss Kathy as she spoke. “I don’t have the authority to cancel something as large and high profile as this conference.  She’ll have to talk to Kathy, who will not be pleased at all.”

“Righto, so we’ll just have to let the ladies fight it out themselves – handbags at five paces and all that. I do like a good scrap! Let me know what Kathy says. See you!”

Ruby chose to ignore this comment, said goodbye fairly tersely and carried on texting her boss, hoping that Kathy would be able to pick up her text quickly; she was usually so on the ball. Kathy didn’t disappoint on this occasion. She texted back within a minute:

“Heard it on the grapevine. Michael not happy. May have to collaborate with Bob et al. in order to salvage our hard work. Leave it with me x”

It suddenly occurred to Ruby that this could be Margaret’s way of stamping her authority over Ruby – and the rest of the training team at the same time.  She knew that Margaret viewed her with suspicion anyway because of her being Sally’s supporter.  Rumours of Michael’s anger with Margaret over Sally’s appeal had leached its way around the building, together with more detailed accounts of the current state of disgrace lurking over Karen, Fiona, Cheryl and the strategically sick Mandy.  Gavin was an unknown quantity to most, but the new rule regarding clocking in and out had already impacted on the workforce as a whole, and the smokers and shoppers in particular, were very upset about their subterfuge being uncovered.

Silly to think that Margaret would just sit back and sulk after being reprimanded; her strategy was always to bully and confront.  Obviously, she had decided that hijacking the conference for her department would be a good way of getting back into Michael’s good books. He usually went down to a more bearable simmer after he had blown up at anyone.

It was down to Ruby to let the rest of the training team know that they were going to have to include input from Margaret, Bob and the truly Apathetic Adam, who obviously hadn’t bothered to do anything other than resurrect an old presentation that was way out of date when he first presented it. The rest of the team were not happy; some of them had crossed swords with Margaret before, they all knew and loathed Bob, and whilst most people quite liked Adam it was universally acclaimed that while he was a nice man, he couldn’t manage his way out of a wet paper bag. His presentation skills were sadly lacking too. ‘Death by PowerPoint’ could have been invented with Adam in mind. His idea of doing a presentation was to set up the demonstration and then read each bullet point in a monotonous and patronising manner.  Most attendees asked if he would be doing handouts at the end of the session, and when this had been confirmed, they switched off totally, fell asleep or spent the time playing Patience, or checking Twitter on their mobiles.

What made it so bizarre was that Adam was actually quite a funny man; he sang and played guitar at open mike nights, his knowledge of music, old films and comedy was extensive and on a social basis he was great company. Ruby could only surmise that his poor presentation skills were linked to a total lack of interest in his subject, and she wondered if there was any way she could get him up there singing his way through the conference.

The training that Ruby and her colleagues had set up was varied; punchy, demanding and gave no opportunity for playing on mobiles. They had engaged speakers who were likely to inspire and challenge; the day was broken up into sections that would ensure participation from everyone who attended, and the attendees were chosen as much for their own input rather than the usual suspects that were invited to everything merely because they fancied a day out, and were not known to be dynamic workers within their own teams.

For Ruby; having put all this effort into organising the day, the thought that it was all about to be ruined by Margaret’s machinations, Bob’s bolshiness and Adam’s apathy made her grind her teeth in anger, and wish that Sally’s serial killer was more than just a character in a book.

Ruby and Kathy called the team together to formulate a plan of action that would keep Margaret sweet, appease a volcanic and rumbling Michael, and utilise the dubious talents of Bob and Adam, as well as keeping the major content of the conference that they had organised. Kathy was of the opinion that it could be done if Margaret and her henchmen could be manipulated into thinking that they had come up with the content of the conference, and that Ruby and the team had merely facilitated. It was a good idea in theory, but whether Kathy and Ruby could actually put into practice was another thing.

That was when Ruby had one of her particularly bright ideas. 

Sally had worked with Bob and Adam before; in fact, she had been very good friends with Adam when they worked in the same office. They were the same age and had many of the same interests and experiences. Bob had actually worked for Sally when he was younger and newly qualified, and whilst Sally said he had been a total pain in the neck, Ruby had a feeling that if she picked Sally’s brains, she might find a clue as to how to deal with these interlopers, and maintain the integrity of the conference.

Aware that phoning Sally from work was not a bright idea, however good her intentions were, Ruby told her colleagues that she was going out to pick up some lunch, and drove up to the nearby cemetery to get some peace and privacy. She kept her fingers crossed that Sally would come up with a magic formula.  Sally was pleased to hear from her; Ruby had tried Sally’s mobile first, which was just as well as she was currently sitting at her favourite beauty spot whilst her husband and the dog ran around more energetically.

“What’s up sweetheart? You sound a bit rattled.”

Ruby explained the issues and asked tentatively if Sally had any ideas.

“Hmmm. Get Adam to write a song and perform it. If you ask him, he’ll do it, he likes you.”

Ruby was momentarily silenced by this revelation. “Really! He likes me? Why?”

“Oh! I expect because you are bright, beautiful and he finds you interesting. I know this because he told me – long before all the crap started – but I doubt if he’s changed his opinion. Poor Adam. He really is a round peg in an incredibly square hole. You know he’s got stuff on YouTube?”

“What sort of stuff?” Ruby asked, her interest piqued.

“Music. He used to be in a group. He had long hair and extremely tight trousers, not to mention an interesting line in military-style jackets. The music wasn’t bad either. They got into the charts and had a record deal.”

“What went wrong?”

“The group fell apart. The need for real money and employment. Adam started here at the bottom, same as Bob; Adam endeared himself to people, whereas Bob just put everyone’s backs up by being contentious, and asking far too many stupid questions. Try to be nice to Adam?”

“Do I really have to be nice to Bob?”

“Get Kathy to deal with Bob. He’s so vain he won’t want to deal with anyone below team manager level; far too demeaning. Trouble is, Bob is so tactless and outspoken, if you put him anywhere near your attendees, he’ll just offend everyone, so you need to keep him in the background. Have you organised the printing for the conference yet?”

“Not yet. Not quite finalised. Why?”

“I know it sounds strange, but get Bob to negotiate with the printing department. That’s where his strength lies. The printing department are notoriously awkward, but Bob does awkward really well.”

“Okay. That brings us to Margaret. I can’t understand how she’s managed to bypass Michael. He won’t be happy about letting them take over our conference.”

“That will be because she’s having an affair with the chief executive officer and he is Michael’s boss.”

“How on earth do you know that!”

“Aha!” Sally laughed. “I cannot divulge my sources but one of them is currently a missing person and believed to be somewhere in the Russian Steppes.”

“Donal!”

“The very man. The CEO and Margaret go out to lunches and dinners on a regular basis. Talking of which, that could be the answer to your problem with Margaret.”

“The CEO? I’ve never even met him. I don’t even know what he looks like.”

“Large, dyed black hair and cheap suits that are always far too tight. Totally incompetent.  They let him loose with the bin men for a day.  He lasted an hour before the lads got fed up with him and sent him back to the Town Hall.  He was lucky that they didn’t upend him in a remote countryside bin. That’s beside the point. It’s Margaret’s partner you need to focus on.”

“Desmond?”

“The very man. One of the loveliest men I know, and for some strange reason, thinks the world of his wife. You need to surreptitiously get him onside. Flatter him. Offer him what looks like a key role in your conference, and he’ll be able to persuade her to go your way. She doesn’t really want to do any work or spend any money, and she will appreciate the fact that Desmond is being kept occupied. She just wants to be in control, get all the glory and indulge herself with some CEO time.”

“Wish me luck?” Ruby felt sick at the thought of all the work ahead of her.

“You’ll be fine. Just don’t get cross with them or make them feel stupid. Hard to do in Bob’s case I know, but you can do it. Let me know how you get on. Oh, man and dog alert. I’ll speak to you later. Bye.”

“Bye.”

Ruby sat in the car thinking for a little while then dashed off to the sandwich shop to give some credibility to her absence. After a short meeting, Kathy and Ruby had formulated their plan of action and were ready to do battle at the meeting arranged for the following morning.

This was a meeting that Ruby was dreading. How to retain the fabric of the conference without alienating Margaret, Bob, Adam, Michael or the CEO.  Using Sally’s strategies, combined with Kathy’s wisdom and patience, and some ideas of her own, after two hours the plan for the conference was sorted. Ruby had spent some time the previous afternoon cajoling Desmond into helping out, principally in areas that had already been planned by her team, but would benefit from his affable presence. His enthusiasm and pride at being asked to play such an important part had won Margaret over. It also meant that it would give Margaret an excuse to have a lazy lunch with the CEO to discuss the conference that SHE had planned.

Bob was a little annoying; well more than a little actually, but Kathy dealt with him, and he was fighting a losing battle once Margaret and Adam came around. Adam was already scribbling lyrics and humming to himself happily, so Bob had to give in and agree with the plans. He seemed to quite like the idea of negotiating with printing; unknown to Ruby he had crossed swords with them before and lost, so this time he was determined to be the victor.

Ruby and Kathy left the building feeling drained, but triumphant. Kathy sent a quick email to Michael as Ruby drove them back to the office and was gratified to receive his usual economic response.

Ta.

Michael was not happy.

Following a worrying call from the head of IT asking why Ben was being allowed unlimited access to the systems, Michael had made some enquiries and had heard about the errors that had been made in regard to Sally’s employment, and the issues that had arisen over policies and procedures that had not been checked before being passed.  Although this had been glossed over in the appeal, an ACAS employment tribunal was a whole different ball game.  Elderly councillors could be fobbed off and told that such things were irrelevant, but experienced ACAS assessors were trained to pick up such errors in the process. Although they were impartial, it had been Michael’s experience that any flaws would be uncovered and throw the local authority in a very bad light.  He blamed Margaret and was very quick to tell her so in an extremely terse phone conversation.

Margaret was not happy.

She was aware that the errors had occurred within her department; that by allowing Mandy and her triad free rein in HR, there was a real chance that Sally might win the employment tribunal and cost the local authority a great deal of money in compensation for her unfair dismissal.  She couldn’t exactly blame Gavin for the errors as he was appointed long after Sally had been suspended, but she hadn’t been impressed by his attempts to intimidate Sally on the phone or by trolling her on Twitter.  She would have liked to tell Mandy exactly what she thought of her management skills, but Mandy had sense enough to develop a stress-related illness and get herself medically signed off for the next two months.

Unlike Michael, who thought that he knew the disadvantages of putting anything negative in writing; Margaret phoned Gavin and made her disapproval well and truly known.   The only bright spot as far as she could see was her employment of young Ben, his ability to analyse what had been going wrong in the HR department, and the impact on the rest of the local authority.

Gavin was not happy.

His happiness began to decline on the day before Sally’s appeal hearing when she failed to fall into his trap and agree to cancel the meeting. He had thought that following her on Twitter might intimidate her into cancelling the meeting that morning but she turned up nevertheless. She was wearing a bright red jacket. She looked far better than she should have done under the circumstances.  If she’d attended the meeting with unwashed hair, no makeup and in an old outfit that had seen better days, she would probably have been received with more sympathy by the councillors.

That was not the way Sally operated obviously. He understood that now and realised that he had underestimated her. The realisation hit him when right at the start of the meeting she informed everyone present that he had tried to get her to cancel the meeting the day before, that he had failed to advise her that she could be penalised by ACAS for doing this, and then, like pulling a rabbit out of a top hat, she had produced his email and asked why it was that a person in his position should be trawling around on Twitter in the early hours of the morning trying to find out information on her.

Luckily the elderly councillors were confused; most of them were too ignorant of social media to understand what she was talking about, but there were a few other people in the room who did. This included the legal representative and Michael, in his role as presiding officer. Gavin managed not to meet Michael and Margaret’s eyes when Sally was spouting her revelations to the floor, but he knew he was going to cop for it later.

At the end of the meeting Sally finally lost her cool and as she was leaving the room, she had moved close to him and uttered

“Don’t even think about stalking me Slime or you will be very, very sorry.” He heard her kick the wall as she left, and allowed himself a thin smile of satisfaction which disappeared very quickly when he looked up and saw Michael glaring down at him before he stalked out of the room.

Gavin had waited all of the next day for the summons to Michael’s office in the Town Hall. It wasn’t until late afternoon of the next day that Gavin had the bright idea of checking Michael’s online calendar and found to his disgust that he had been out at a conference all day. He felt angry with Michael, angry with himself for not checking earlier but most of all he was angry with Sally for not being intimidated by him.

Margaret’s very public telephone call to Gavin set the wheels in motion to get Peter and Ben identifying the system errors, and completely demoralised Karen, Fiona and Cheryl.  Gavin was well aware that one of them had sent a warning text to Mandy, and wasn’t surprised therefore when she was signed off by her doctor.  This suited him as it left the three witches unprotected and vulnerable.  He loved it when people were scared of him.  He would get his own back on Margaret in time, Sally was his first priority.

He got her file out of his briefcase and went through it again; looking for any weak areas that he might have missed. Against all HR protocols he took the file home and read it over and over all weekend. In between running errands for his mother, and sitting patiently in a garden centre tea room whilst she and two of her friends worked their way through salvers of dainty sandwiches and a selection of not so-very dainty cakes with their pots of tea, he read the file again and pondered.

He had to admit that he was fascinated by the way the serial killer in Sally’s book had bumped off or humiliated eleven key council staff – no one counted Dopey Shirley as a key member of anything. The only impact her death would have made would be that her team ran more smoothly, and there would be no more mysterious incidents where people’s belongings disappeared from the office. Gavin had to admire the modes of murder utilised; he was especially impressed by the salted sardine and the Armenian clog dancers, but also felt that those who escaped death in the book had been dealt with in a rather spectacular fashion too.

Louis, the office burglar had made an actual and rather meteoric rise through the ranks before the book had been published, but had taken on more than he was capable of dealing with and the cracks were beginning to show. His old team had been quite fond of him and covered up most of his shortcomings but his new team, resentful at the demotion of their old boss, had proved reluctant to provide any kind of support, tolerate his frequent unofficial trips outside for cigarettes, and flatly refused to make him cups of tea and coffee, or allow him access to their closely guarded biscuit tins. Perhaps this was why he had taken to standing out in the corridor and glaring down at people like Ruby as they came in and out of the building.

Fate hadn’t been any kinder to Linda; another manager who failed to manage. She picked the laziest and most unhelpful of her two part-time secretaries to offload work onto merely because the woman wore more fashionable clothes. The other secretary, dowdy and studious, did much of the work anyway but was proving just a little bit stubborn about working extra hours to cover for her colleague. Linda had also come slightly unstuck with her expenses. The excitement of owning a Rigby and Peller bra had gone to her head, and she insisted on going down to London for a fitting and to have four more bras made. Trying to pass the trip to London off as a necessary work-related expense was bad enough, but claiming for the bras on the grounds that she needed to wear them for conferences and public relations exercises, was just too much.

Her husband was not particularly impressed by the fact that, newly unemployed, he now had to pay a huge lingerie bill as well. He didn’t even like the bras; they were all white and upholstered, nowhere near as sexy as the wisps of black lace and satin that Linda used to spill out of. Unknown to Linda, he had applied for some work in Slovenia which entailed his family moving out there with him for at least a year.  The money was good, he knew that his children could benefit from the move, there was only Linda to deal with.  He had a feeling that making a new start away from Sally’s book might be the answer.  The new bras could always get lost in the packing.

Susie continued to languish in her office; most of the time she sat idly pleating one of her old designer dresses between her fingers, but every now and then she would stalk through the corridors looking for someone to screech at. The loss of her palatial house and lifestyle seemed to affect her far more than the loss of her husband and children.

Gavin was particularly curious about the whereabouts of Sally’s friend. From the accounts office. The section of the book regarding the disappearance of Donal and his wife had actually come true before the book was published.  Some said that this was where Donal got the idea in the first place. The money that he had removed from the project team accounts was returned within six months via a number of cleverly manipulated offshore accounts. Gavin had heard a rumour that Donal and his wife were living somewhere in Russia and had made a great deal of money through the building and maintenance of websites. The police had given up trying to trace Donal; after all the money had paid back the money, and relations with Russia didn’t permit an expenses-paid investigation. The weather in England was cold enough.

Michael summoned Gavin to his office on Monday morning. It was not a pleasant interview. He drew himself up to his full six foot three, and towered over the diminutive Slime. He thundered and roared; his regional accent coming to the fore as he became increasingly angry with the deliberately passive Gavin.

“You made a fool of all of us!” he yelled as he paced the room. “Have you any idea how bad this will look when it gets into the public domain? She already has the local press on her side, and now we find out that she has friends and relatives working in social media who are very defensive about her.”

“She hasn’t said anything, though has she?” Gavin clutched at straws. “I remember reading some meeting notes where she stated that she wouldn’t go to the press because she didn’t want her face all over the front page.”

Gavin relaxed a little and leaned back in his chair. This was not a wise move. Michael leaned over him; his face was so close that Gavin could smell the minty chewing gum barely masking his bad breath.

“Listen Slime! We brought you in specifically to sort this mess out.  You came recommended by Margaret as someone who could get rid of people without any fuss. I’m not particularly impressed with your methods so far. Sally is running rings round us, and if she gets as far as an employment tribunal, we’ll be a laughing stock. I can deal with a bunch of aging councillors, but it won’t just be a matter of the local rag ripping us to shreds as usual, this will undoubtedly get picked up by the nationals.”

“I’m trying to get to know her; trying to work out what makes her tick.”

Michael sat heavily on the edge of his desk and sighed.

“Sally and I used to get on very well when she worked in the project team. I found her to be very intelligent, and she ran circles round the managers – most of whom couldn’t manage their way out of a wet paper bag. She knows our systems, and she is enough of a geek to work out when we are trying to pull a fast one. Don’t underestimate her. John thought a great deal of Sally and didn’t want to sack her at all, which is why he gave the compromise agreement.  I had further cuts to make when he left however, and I’d always felt that her settlement was far too generous. In retrospect I wish I’d shut down a library or a youth club instead, but it’s far too late to go back now.”

“Do you want me to carry on or are you going to get someone else to do the job?” Gavin asked, trying to keep his voice level so that it didn’t betray his nervousness.

Shrugging his shoulders and walking slowly round the desk and back to his huge leather chair, Michael slumped down, temporarily defeated. Looking up, he nodded toward the door.

“Off you go Slime. You’re still on the job but make a better job of reading those files in future. Looking at Ben’s resume, Margaret has finally done something right in taking him on.  I’ve told IT to lift any restrictions on his access. I just hope that he can be trusted.”

“Yes … Sir.”

Gavin muttered under his breath, and walked quickly out of the room with his briefcase clutched tightly in his hands. Eschewing the lift, he ran down the stairs, permitting a brief respite chuckle as he reached the bottom. He almost skipped all the way to his car and even the parking ticket he received for not having booked a space, failed to quell his high spirits.

Opening yet another brown paper envelope, Sally sighed and looked despairingly over at her husband Ed. He pulled a sympathetic face and came over to perch on the arm of her chair.

“More bureaucracy?” he muttered, kissing the top of her head and smiling as he breathed in the scent of violets that he always associated with her.

“Hmmmm.” Sally growled. “They are so incompetent. They can’t even agree on the date they dismissed me now. The council solicitor says it’s the date on the letter of dismissal, but my P45 says the date of leaving is two days later. I was under the impression that the P45 was a legal document but it was filled out by a halfwit in payroll, whereas the letter was typed by a nice secretary who has known me for years. It’s not exactly the kind of thing that will cause an issue, but it annoys me that they can’t even get a simple thing like my date of dismissal correct.”

“Drink?” He got to his feet in expectation of the answer.

“What time is it? Nearly six o’clock! Have I really been here for four hours looking at all this paperwork?”

“You have. Put it away for now, I’ll stick the news on and bring you a drink. Baileys?”

“Over ice. Yes please. I wonder how Ben getting on?”

“He’ll call. Unless they’ve locked him up in a room somewhere because they’ve discovered that he’s related to you.”

“Oh no!” Sally cried out in horror! “You don’t think …. oh, I see – joke! Very funny – not. There are some extremely nasty people there – as well you know.”

He sat back down beside her again and handed her the glass, clinking it against his own.

“Cheers! Yes, I know exactly how nasty your ex-colleagues are and the kind of fate that some of them should have met because of their behaviour. Shame the serial killer didn’t take them in reality. I’d happily give him another list.”

“Don’t! I find it hard to forgive myself for starting all that in the first place. If I hadn’t written that stupid list…”

“…it’s too late now. Who knows, maybe someone else might bump them

off eventually.”

“I doubt it.” she said morosely. “Only the good die young – in which case you could be stuck with me for quite a few years yet.”

He laughed and hugged her.

“I sincerely hope so. No one else makes me smile the way you do. Give me your glass. Watch the news and then we’ll order up a takeaway.”

“For the boys too?”

“It’ll cost me several arms and a leg but yes, the boys can have takeaway too. I’ll lay money on it that they won’t both want the same thing, and I’ll have to go to at least three different takeaways to make everyone happy though.”

Sally smiled and leaned back in the chair whilst Ed went off to ascertain the needs of her boys – who weren’t really boys anymore. Her eldest had started university but was home for a couple of days, whilst her younger son had decided that the academic life wasn’t for him and had dropped out of ‘A’ levels shortly after she had been suspended.

It had been something of a shock for all of them; after the book being a limited success Sally had thought that she could slide quietly into self-employment aided by the generous settlement from John. To find that John was leaving to go to elsewhere, and that his arrangement was withdrawn by his second in command Michael, had been of great concern, especially when it was announced that rather than having her contract quietly terminated, she was now dismissed for gross misconduct. A series of investigatory meetings followed, overseen by a senior manager from another department who was supposed to be impartial and unknown to Sally but who had showed her personal bias from day one.

The meetings seemed endless; notes were taken by the glowering Karen, deeply annoyed at actually having to do some work for a change. As a consequence of her resentment, the notes were very poor, and in no way reflected what was actually said during the meeting. Sally tried to defend herself; Ruby was allowed to come to the meetings with her as a supporter, but she wasn’t supposed to say anything and the investigation officer was under the impression that Ruby had a hand in the book anyway. It didn’t help that Susie had been a great friend of hers as well. Susie, whose husband had left her after reading the book, sold up and taken their youngest son to live in Australia, leaving Susie to move to a tiny rented house, and the kind of ignominy she had always dreaded.

Sally had tried everything. She had her own solicitors, who were working on a ‘no win, no fee’ basis, and consequently had no sense of urgency whatsoever. She had consulted with local councillors, but they were fairly ignorant of the set policies and procedures, and easily swayed by senior management orders. Sally’s local MP had proved more helpful but there was a limit to how much he could do before the councillors – who were of a different political persuasion – started being obstructive towards him as well.

She appealed against her dismissal and the day before the hearing she received a call from Gavin Slime, offering her a compromise agreement.

“I already had one.” she said tersely. “John had it drawn up before he left.”

“Ah yes, but things have changed.”

She disliked the tone of Gavin’s voice. She found it oily and unctuous. He suggested that she abandon the appeal or at least cancel it for now, and let him talk to ACAS to try and sort things out.

In the back of Sally’s mind there was a vague memory that ACAS didn’t take kindly to people cancelling or abandoning things, and that this could have financial implications for her. She asked for time to talk to her husband, and whilst she did, she also asked some trusted friends and a conciliator from ACAS. The advice was unanimous. Whatever you do, don’t abandon the appeal!

She spoke to Gavin later that day and repeated the advice about financial implications. Sally could tell by the way his voice changed that he knew about the penalties of cancelling and had been trying to trick her into submitting. She told him that she felt it would be discourteous to cancel at such a late date. He did not sound very pleased with her answer.

The next morning, Sally was up early and on opening her emails, discovered that she had a new follower on Twitter. This would have been a pleasant surprise normally, but the new follower was Gavin Slime and the email confirming her new follower had been sent through at twenty-five past three in the morning.

Sally felt grubby.

She couldn’t make up her mind whether Gavin Slime was following her because he fancied her, because he was trying to find out information on her, or because he was trying to intimidate her. Whatever his reason – she blocked him and printed off the email to take with her to the meeting.

Not surprisingly, the meeting did not go well. Sally decided to tell the appeal panel that Gavin Slime had tried to get her to cancel the meeting the day before. She also decided to tell them about the Twitter email.  She should have saved her breath. The councillors present were so ignorant of social media that the implications of his actions were totally lost on them. They stared blankly at her whilst she tried to explain, and they kept asking the solicitor, Michael and Margaret for advice. Margaret of course, had been wearing the dead cat jacket in order to impose her superiority over everyone, except Michael who sat stony-faced throughout the proceedings.  He wouldn’t meet Sally’s eye at all.  She decided that this was due to a guilty conscience as they’d always got on so well in the past.

Gavin Slime sat at the head of the table smiling in his oily fashion and knowing that Sally was wasting her time. Eventually, the solicitor asked her if she would be willing to be reinstated and return to her former post.  Sally told him that she wouldn’t work for the local authority again if it was the last thing she ever did.  He then advised her that the appeal had two options, reinstatement or continued dismissal. Although the evidence was very thin, and even the police had agreed that she had not committed any crimes as far as they could see., Sally’s appeal was dismissed due to her refusal to return.  This decision was accompanied by self-satisfied smirks from Michael, Margaret and Gavin.

As Sally got up to leave, she looked at the three of them.

“This is not over,” she said, desperately trying to stay calm.  “I will not be harassed by you or anyone.  I detest bullying and this will be part of the grounds for my ACAS appeal against unfair dismissal.”

Despite her parting shot, Sally was so frustrated by the whole process that she kicked a wall as she walked out at the end of the meeting. Not an important wall, just one in the corridor. No real damage was done, just a scuff mark on the white emulsion. Ruby propelled her out of the building and into the courtyard before she could actually do any damage to Slime, Michael, Margaret, or any of the councillors. They walked to the car, arm in arm, and all Sally wanted to do was to get away, as far away from the town hall as possible.

Safe at last in a family pub up the road from her house, Sally took a deep gulp of her healing red wine and finally began to relax. They talked it through, and Ruby assured her that she hadn’t been too bad; had hardly sworn and that only the wall got kicked. Over scampi and chips, they put the world to rights until Ed left work and joined them to commiserate.

There had been an earlier suggestion that Sally quietly resigned and received her three months’ pay in lieu of notice, but that went out the window when Michael pointed out that the local authority had an obligation to the people of the town to save money wherever possible – and that included any of Sally’s agreements.

Ben was able to provide a little emotional compensation however when he phoned that night; he had overheard a conversation between Gavin and Margaret when they returned form the meeting.  Margaret was not happy about Gavin’s attempts at getting Sally to drop the appeal, that there had still been the opportunity for Sally to return to work, in HER office of all places, and that Gavin’s attempt to follow Sally on Twitter had been exposed in the middle of the meeting.

Ben did his best to look busy, but the whole office was then witness to Karen getting a particularly brutal earbashing from Gavin over the appalling quality of her disciplinary meeting notes.

“If you had actually paid attention during those meetings, we wouldn’t be in the position we are in now, you stupid woman! We had twenty allegations to uphold the gross misconduct suspension. Twenty! Sally managed to dismiss eighteen of those because the policies and procedures hadn’t even been written prior to her suspension.  You should have known that right from the start, as yours is one of the names attached to the provisional agreement.  All we have on her now is that fact that she disclosed information about the local authority to a third party, and disrespect shown to senior management.  You are on a written warning, as are your two silly friends whose names are also mentioned, and your manager because she signed the procedures off as well. Get back to your desk and get some work done.  Sally is going for an employment tribunal against unfair dismissal, and I want everything sewn up as tightly as possible.”

Although the verbal warning took place in Gavin’s office, the partitions were very thin and largely made of safety glass, so everyone heard what was said. Fiona and Cheryl were visibly shaken, and Fiona was very quick to say that as contracts were her responsibility, she shouldn’t have to take the blame for incompetence on the part of Cheryl and Karen.  Gavin overheard this comment as he opened the office door to let a sobbing Karen escape to the toilets.

“There is nothing to be smug about Fiona.  One of the other issues that arose in the appeal meeting is that Sally had never received a contract for her last two posts, and didn’t even get acceptance letters.  From what I can see, hers is not an isolated case. That kind of sloppiness is what gives HR a bad reputation; isn’t that right Ben?”

Ben nodded in agreement, knowing that keeping in with Gavin was of prime importance.  Gavin approached the desk that Ben and Peter shared.

“Peter, I want you to draw up a spreadsheet of all the outstanding contracts and acceptance letters so that Fiona has a better idea of her workload.  Ben, your task is a bit more complex; I need to see all the policies and procedures that Mandy, Karen and Cheryl have passed in the…last eighteen months? I also need to know the names of any other managers that have passed documentation that is flawed or incomplete.  You can do that can’t you?”

“Yes Gavin, I would need a higher level of systems access than I’ve got at the moment.”

Gavin frowned and turned towards Joanna.

“Get that sorted now, Joanna.  Unlimited access for Ben as soon as possible, and tell IT that I won’t be fobbed off with excuses, I know just how quickly these things can be sorted out.”

Joanna was on the phone immediately.  Karen returned to her desk red eyed, snivelling and completely blanked by her two colleagues.

“There will be no more long lunches for you three.  I am having the clocking in and out systems revised so that you won’t be able to cheat the system anymore.”

The icing on the cake came with Joanna receiving a message that Mandy had returned from holiday but had been signed off on sick leave.

Ben’s account went some way to easing Sally’s anger, but it also made her even more aware of what a dangerous man Gavin Slime was.  So, it was back to the drawing board, and the prospect of conducting her own defence in an employment tribunal. Looking at the huge pile of paperwork and brown paper envelopes stacked in front of her, Sally pushed them to one side and watched the news. Anything was better than local government bureaucracy.

Gavin sat alone in the dark office; his face illuminated only by the computer screen. He had found her! Found her Twitter name, and fully intended to follow her and see what she was up to. The Twitter account could be different, having one hundred and forty characters to express yourself often made people less wary about what they said. Gavin looked up at the clock.  He couldn’t look too closely here though.  He knew that he had already upset the IT department and didn’t want them to find anything dodgy on his official profile. Half-past five and time to pack up and go home.

He would wait to find out more about her when he got home; wait until he’d been through the pleasantries with his aging parents, had eaten the dried-out dinner his mother had made for him. Taking indigestion tablets before and after the meal kept the very worst reactions at bay, but sometimes it felt like every mouthful was full of sackcloth and ashes.

The evening passed as it always did since they had moved into the house together.

Slowly.

Unable to converse due to his parents’ preoccupation with the oversized television.  Unable to read or look at his tablet for fear of offence and the subsequent accusations of neglect. It was the silent reproach that irked him the worst. He could parry the acid comments as they dripped from his mother’s disappointed lips, but the look on her face, the look that told him how ungrateful he was, cut him to the quick and made him even more determined to keep his excesses private.

There was no such reproach from his father however; locked inside the fantasy world that had occupied him long before the official diagnosis of Alzheimer’s Disease had been made, his father smiled through every day in a place where he shovelled in burnt offerings every mealtime as if they were ambrosia from the gods. A place where the TV held new delights every day, and the operation of the remote control was a thing of wonder. Answering the telephone was slightly more problematic; Gavin’s mother wasn’t always quick enough to seize the handset before his father’s querulous voice could begin interrogating whichever hapless PPI salesperson or accident insurance company had called. His mother dealt with all callers with a briskness belying her age; cutting through the call centre scripts, and despatching the recorded messages with expediency. She was a formidable woman.

Distance had lent enchantment as far as Gavin’s parents were concerned.  He had been living away from home for some years, and in that time his father had grown more confused and his mother more demanding.  When he purchased the house for the three of them to live in, he thought that his mother might actually show some appreciation, but there were constant complaints about the size of the rooms, the proximity to the shops, and the sloppiness of the care assistants and the cleaner that he had hired.

Having satisfied himself that his parents had finally gone to bed, Gavin settled in the kitchen and opened up his laptop to continue his search. He couldn’t get at Sally through Face Book because her page had very tight privacy settings. He’d looked at her blog but again, her caution made it very difficult for him to find any material that he could use to smear her. He had learned a great deal of other information from the blog however; about her family, her past, even her dog, but it was all irrelevant to his needs.

Twenty-past two in the morning. 

Time for a snack. 

His parents were sound asleep at last, and would not be disturbed by the sound of him whipping up a way-after-midnight snack. He shut the door from the living room to the stairs, then just as quietly closed the kitchen door so that no cooking smells could permeate the upper floor.  He had been caught out like that before. Despite the meticulous washing up and putting away of all the cutlery, crockery and kitchen utensils, his mother’s face the next morning over a breakfast of rubbery scrambled egg and burnt toast, had said it all.

Hatches thoroughly battened down, Gavin began assembling the food for his favourite late-night meal; chicken breast, salsa, onions, peppers, a soft tortilla or two, sour cream, grated cheese, and oh, deep joy, guacamole. He was the Fajita King! Ready to rustle up his guilty pleasure before creeping back to the laptop and continuing his hunt. He would savour every mouthful, washed down by an illicit bottle of fizzy drink that he had smuggled home in his briefcase with the fajita ingredients. His mother didn’t approve of fizzy drinks after seeing a programme where they left pennies in a glass of fizz overnight and produced a batch of shiny metal in the morning.

“Just think!” she said. “Just think what that stuff is doing to your stomach! I didn’t go through fifty-three hours of agonising childbirth to have your stomach ruined by fizzy drinks! Are you sure that you aren’t drinking this rubbish at work? I can always ask your secretary!”

Gavin had briefed his secretary well. Joanna was a good girl. Not bright, but bright enough to understand that when Gavin’s mother phoned, she was to use the list he had made for her when replying to questions, and not to deviate from the set topics.

Yes, Gavin was in a meeting.

No, she wouldn’t forget to ask him to call his mother back, she was writing a note for him at the moment and would pop it on his desk for his return.

Yes, she had seen Gavin eat the sandwiches his mother had prepared for him and she had only made him two cups of coffee this morning using the decaffeinated instant brand that his mother used at home.

Gavin had made it quite clear to Joanna what would happen if she revealed his mother’s demanding ways to her colleagues and as a consequence, she gave a tight-lipped smile when asked about him, and would only comment that he was very easy to work for.

Licking the sour cream from around his lips, Gavin searched hungrily through the Twitter profile and tweets. He hadn’t actually followed Sally yet, that would come later. A nice piece of intimidation that would inevitably end up with his being blocked, so he had to work hard to rummage around in her brief and personal musings first. Music; she obviously liked music, and comedians, actors, journalists and writers. He sighed as he chewed on a particularly tasty piece of chicken; this account was not proving as fruitful as he had hoped.  She posted links to the rantings of another dissatisfied local authority slave, but nothing that could be considered derogatory against her own ex-employer. Damn! She had been just as careful when she wrote that nasty book; no names or places that could identify the staff or the location, but everyone who read it knew exactly who the characters were based on.

Fajita finished, Gavin left the laptop on whilst he washed and cleaned the surfaces; removing every trace of his transgression then moving silently out of the back door to hide the last pieces of evidence in their next-door neighbour’s bin. He had been doing this ever since his mother, wielding her stick, had gleefully produced the fruits of her wheelie bin detection; a bag containing the remnants of a KFC meal that he had consumed on the way home, and needed to get out of the car because he was taking her out shopping the next day. He’d installed new and very powerful air fresheners in the car to mask the smell of food, that and the lingering scent of sweat, urine and cheap body spray that his mother exuded.

The mileage his mother had made out of this heinous crime haunted him to the extent that his fast-food intake was severely affected, and his digestive system suffered further from the penance of burnt offerings. He had grown wise now and every scrap of evidence was deposited in a bin, far from home whenever possible, where his mother and her stick could never venture.

Putting his briefcase up on the table; Gavin extracted the file that contained everything on Sally that had been his obsession since the Director had given him the task of destroying her reputation, once and for all. How dare she argue with the authority? How dare she question their policies and procedures? She didn’t even work for them anymore but she was still hell-bent on wreaking havoc! He would see her crumble before him; begging for mercy with no sign of the cool and almost amused tone he had heard when he phoned her with his proposition. How dare she laugh at him! He was a very important person and she had no right to mock him as she had. She’d asked him questions about the proposition that confirmed her knowledge of the system, and made him appreciate that she was not going to be as easy to deal with as some of his other victims.

No matter.

He loved a challenge.

He skim-read the file again. Her qualifications annoyed him. She had far too many for the job that she’d been doing, and this had undoubtedly led to her downfall. She had a long and unblemished service record, and he could see that although some managers had felt threatened by her competence, others had cashed in on it and been promoted as a consequence. Cross-referencing the profiles of her previous managers on his laptop, Gavin could see a pattern emerging, and he experienced a delicious chill down his spine as he observed that several people that she had worked with were described as meeting grisly ends in her book.  He had a feeling that she would have loved to see fantasy turn into reality, and that this might be the weak spot in carefully constructed armour.

The profile picture had been changed recently to a selfie she had taken. He stroked the blonde hair with his finger; traced the shape of her large blue eyes under glasses that gave her an eternal student look. He knew her; knew so much about her now that he was sure the means of her downfall lay in his hands. this was his skill, the reason for his meteoric rise from a humble Business Officer to the Assistant Director of Human Resources. He had worked for six different local authorities in order to achieve this however, and whilst he had left damage and resentment in his wake, Gavin Slime was headed for the top of his profession and was a man head-hunted for his ruthlessness and determination.

He looked up at the clock. It was twenty-past three, and time he went to bed. With a sinister smile on his thin lips, he hit the follow button, knowing that an email would be waiting in Sally’s inbox when she got up the next morning. An email announcing that he, the extremely important Assistant Director of Human Resources was following her. His profile picture, in an attempt at humour, showed him eating a giant fajita with only his eyes and horn-rimmed glasses on show as a clue to the man within. He closed down the laptop and put it away, so that the kitchen table would be pristine for his mother when she descended to her kitchen to prepare his sandwiches four hours later.

Following the obsessive routine, he carried out every night, Gavin checked the doors and windows on the ground floor of the house.  He checked every inch of the scoured worktops, cooker and table, even peering short-sightedly down the plug hole of the sink in case any fajita detritus remained to betray him to his mother.

Nothing.

He put his laptop bag and briefcase out into the hall and under the table where no one would trip over them, and climbed the stairs, counting them, before he turned the corner and went into his immaculately tidy bedroom.

It was a room that was frightening in its sterility. The predominance of white prevented any undetected sullying of his domain; duvet cover, sheets and pillowslips were pristine, starched and laundered to his specific requirements rather than thrown in the washing machine by June, the cleaner. The sterile white vertical blinds gave the room an additionally medical feel, enhanced by the uncluttered white bedside cabinet, part of a set of white Swedish furniture that included a wardrobe, chest of drawers and two large chests. One of these chests held fresh bed linen, still in its laundry packing and ready for Gavin to put on the bed once the sheets no longer felt clean and fresh. The other chest was closed with an iron hasp and a weighty padlock to which only Gavin had the key. It contained secrets; the sort of secrets people cringe from, the sort of secrets that destroy people’s lives, and that could put Gavin in a position where at least a dozen prominent people would love to be able to pay to have him quietly removed from the earth.

They weren’t just other people’s secrets however. Gavin kept his own secrets in this chest, secrets that made him blush and rush to lock his bedroom door, secrets that lit up his pale grey eyes and made his pulse race. They were secrets that no one must ever know, and the mere thought of anyone else discovering them gave Gavin chills of excitement and fear.

He got changed for bed into his crisp pale blue cotton pyjamas. He never wore the same pair for more than two days, and then they too went off to the laundry. He slipped into the small en-suite bathroom that he had paid to have built onto his room. The main bathroom in the house was filled with the equipment and medication of two people who were dying by degrees, and he wanted no part of it. He tolerated no unnecessary clutter in his life. Not anymore. After brushing his teeth with an electric toothbrush, Gavin Slime went back into his room, placed his glasses neatly on his bedside table and slid between his glacial sheets, a sinister smile on his face as he thought of the woman’s reaction when she looked at the email he had sent her.