At any given time you can log on to FaceAche and find at least one question application that will help you to appreciate who or what you are – allegedly.

Sometimes I ignore them, sometimes I click and complete the questionnaire but don’t post them to my timeline because the outcome is fairly predictable.  Occasionally I come across one that makes me smile and want to share it with others.  These are a rarity though.

‘What fruit are you?’ aroused my interest for a minute or two and then I was distracted and moved off in another direction.  I lost the app because I couldn’t remember who, amongst my friends and family had posted it originally.

Later that day, still curious and with a few minutes to spare, I did a search on Google and found loads of  fruity personality quizzes – some of them highly unlikely to give any clue to your personality, they were clumsy and poorly spelled, the worst of them contained the following questions:

7. If you found a wallet with a large amount of money in it whilst walking in a field would you?

Keep it, finders keepers, losers weepers
Take the wallet to the police but take the money
Take the wallet with the money to the police
Don’t know

Apparently this app can conclude from your answers whether you are a:

Succulent strawberry?

Lonesome pear?

Jolly banana?

Ambiguous tomato?

Bitter lemon!

I am a succulent strawberry apparently:

How sweet.  I must put this in my CV.  Why not have a look yourself – http://www.fruitquiz.co.uk/

This wasn’t actually the app that I saw on FaceAche.  I found it later and discovered that the questions were a bit more sophisticated and that I wasn’t a strawberry after all but a grape! As a grape I am ‘adaptable and intelligent, always one step ahead, my friends rely on me to know answers to questions (hope no one asks anything about maths or science – gulp) and if I wrote the ‘Rules for Life’ the world would be a better place‘.

Wow. Go me!

I could have been a banana, an apple, an orange or a watermelon on this site. Having tripped through the 9  questions giving different answers, I turned into an orange and then a watermelon. I also came to the conclusion that the app had a random generator effect and that the answers to the questions bore no relevance to the fruit designation you receive at the end. Having looked at the personality descriptions allotted to each fruit – yeah – they are all a bit ambiguous and generalised. Bananas are stolid, apples are boring, oranges are not the only fruit and I’m very glad that I’m not a watermelon.

I’m not a strawberry or a grape.  I’m a cherry.

Well that’s half an hour of my life I’ll never get back again.